Project Gutenberg s Alice s Adventures in Wonderland  by Lewis Carroll

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Title  Alice s Adventures in Wonderland

Author  Lewis Carroll

Posting Date  June 25  2008  EBook  11 
Release Date  March  1994

Language  English

Character set encoding  ASCII

    START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND    










ALICE S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

Lewis Carroll

THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3 0




CHAPTER I  Down the Rabbit Hole

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the
bank  and of having nothing to do  once or twice she had peeped into the
book her sister was reading  but it had no pictures or conversations in
it   and what is the use of a book   thought Alice  without pictures or
conversation  

So she was considering in her own mind  as well as she could  for the
hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid   whether the pleasure
of making a daisy chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
picking the daisies  when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
close by her 

There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that  nor did Alice think it so
VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself   Oh dear 
Oh dear  I shall be late    when she thought it over afterwards  it
occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this  but at the time
it all seemed quite natural   but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT POCKET  and looked at it  and then hurried on 
Alice started to her feet  for it flashed across her mind that she had
never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat pocket  or a watch
to take out of it  and burning with curiosity  she ran across the field
after it  and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
rabbit hole under the hedge 

In another moment down went Alice after it  never once considering how
in the world she was to get out again 

The rabbit hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way  and then
dipped suddenly down  so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep
well 

Either the well was very deep  or she fell very slowly  for she had
plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
going to happen next  First  she tried to look down and make out what
she was coming to  but it was too dark to see anything  then she
looked at the sides of the well  and noticed that they were filled with
cupboards and book shelves  here and there she saw maps and pictures
hung upon pegs  She took down a jar from one of the shelves as
she passed  it was labelled  ORANGE MARMALADE   but to her great
disappointment it was empty  she did not like to drop the jar for fear
of killing somebody  so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
she fell past it 

 Well   thought Alice to herself   after such a fall as this  I shall
think nothing of tumbling down stairs  How brave they ll all think me at
home  Why  I wouldn t say anything about it  even if I fell off the top
of the house    Which was very likely true  

Down  down  down  Would the fall NEVER come to an end   I wonder how
many miles I ve fallen by this time   she said aloud   I must be getting
somewhere near the centre of the earth  Let me see  that would be four
thousand miles down  I think     for  you see  Alice had learnt several
things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom  and though this
was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge  as there
was no one to listen to her  still it was good practice to say it over 
   yes  that s about the right distance  but then I wonder what Latitude
or Longitude I ve got to    Alice had no idea what Latitude was  or
Longitude either  but thought they were nice grand words to say  

Presently she began again   I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the
earth  How funny it ll seem to come out among the people that walk with
their heads downward  The Antipathies  I think     she was rather glad
there WAS no one listening  this time  as it didn t sound at all the
right word     but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country
is  you know  Please  Ma am  is this New Zealand or Australia    and
she tried to curtsey as she spoke  fancy CURTSEYING as you re falling
through the air  Do you think you could manage it    And what an
ignorant little girl she ll think me for asking  No  it ll never do to
ask  perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere  

Down  down  down  There was nothing else to do  so Alice soon began
talking again   Dinah ll miss me very much to night  I should think  
 Dinah was the cat    I hope they ll remember her saucer of milk at
tea time  Dinah my dear  I wish you were down here with me  There are no
mice in the air  I m afraid  but you might catch a bat  and that s very
like a mouse  you know  But do cats eat bats  I wonder   And here Alice
began to get rather sleepy  and went on saying to herself  in a dreamy
sort of way   Do cats eat bats  Do cats eat bats   and sometimes   Do
bats eat cats   for  you see  as she couldn t answer either question 
it didn t much matter which way she put it  She felt that she was dozing
off  and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with
Dinah  and saying to her very earnestly   Now  Dinah  tell me the truth 
did you ever eat a bat   when suddenly  thump  thump  down she came upon
a heap of sticks and dry leaves  and the fall was over 

Alice was not a bit hurt  and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment 
she looked up  but it was all dark overhead  before her was another
long passage  and the White Rabbit was still in sight  hurrying down it 
There was not a moment to be lost  away went Alice like the wind  and
was just in time to hear it say  as it turned a corner   Oh my ears
and whiskers  how late it s getting   She was close behind it when she
turned the corner  but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen  she found
herself in a long  low hall  which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging
from the roof 

There were doors all round the hall  but they were all locked  and when
Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other  trying every
door  she walked sadly down the middle  wondering how she was ever to
get out again 

Suddenly she came upon a little three legged table  all made of solid
glass  there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key  and Alice s
first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall 
but  alas  either the locks were too large  or the key was too small 
but at any rate it would not open any of them  However  on the second
time round  she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before  and
behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high  she tried the
little golden key in the lock  and to her great delight it fitted 

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage  not
much larger than a rat hole  she knelt down and looked along the passage
into the loveliest garden you ever saw  How she longed to get out of
that dark hall  and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and
those cool fountains  but she could not even get her head through the
doorway   and even if my head would go through   thought poor Alice   it
would be of very little use without my shoulders  Oh  how I wish I could
shut up like a telescope  I think I could  if I only know how to begin  
For  you see  so many out of the way things had happened lately 
that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really
impossible 

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door  so she went
back to the table  half hoping she might find another key on it  or at
any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes  this
time she found a little bottle on it    which certainly was not here
before   said Alice   and round the neck of the bottle was a paper
label  with the words  DRINK ME  beautifully printed on it in large
letters 

It was all very well to say  Drink me   but the wise little Alice was
not going to do THAT in a hurry   No  I ll look first   she said   and
see whether it s marked  poison  or not   for she had read several nice
little histories about children who had got burnt  and eaten up by wild
beasts and other unpleasant things  all because they WOULD not remember
the simple rules their friends had taught them  such as  that a red hot
poker will burn you if you hold it too long  and that if you cut your
finger VERY deeply with a knife  it usually bleeds  and she had never
forgotten that  if you drink much from a bottle marked  poison   it is
almost certain to disagree with you  sooner or later 

However  this bottle was NOT marked  poison   so Alice ventured to taste
it  and finding it very nice   it had  in fact  a sort of mixed flavour
of cherry tart  custard  pine apple  roast turkey  toffee  and hot
buttered toast   she very soon finished it off 

                                 

                              

                                 

 What a curious feeling   said Alice   I must be shutting up like a
telescope  

And so it was indeed  she was now only ten inches high  and her face
brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
through the little door into that lovely garden  First  however  she
waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further 
she felt a little nervous about this   for it might end  you know   said
Alice to herself   in my going out altogether  like a candle  I wonder
what I should be like then   And she tried to fancy what the flame of a
candle is like after the candle is blown out  for she could not remember
ever having seen such a thing 

After a while  finding that nothing more happened  she decided on going
into the garden at once  but  alas for poor Alice  when she got to the
door  she found she had forgotten the little golden key  and when she
went back to the table for it  she found she could not possibly reach
it  she could see it quite plainly through the glass  and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table  but it was too slippery 
and when she had tired herself out with trying  the poor little thing
sat down and cried 

 Come  there s no use in crying like that   said Alice to herself 
rather sharply   I advise you to leave off this minute   She generally
gave herself very good advice   though she very seldom followed it  
and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into
her eyes  and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself 
for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people 
 But it s no use now   thought poor Alice   to pretend to be two people 
Why  there s hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person  

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table 
she opened it  and found in it a very small cake  on which the words
 EAT ME  were beautifully marked in currants   Well  I ll eat it   said
Alice   and if it makes me grow larger  I can reach the key  and if it
makes me grow smaller  I can creep under the door  so either way I ll
get into the garden  and I don t care which happens  

She ate a little bit  and said anxiously to herself   Which way  Which
way    holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was
growing  and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same
size  to be sure  this generally happens when one eats cake  but Alice
had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out of the way
things to happen  that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on
in the common way 

So she set to work  and very soon finished off the cake 

                                 

                              

                                 




CHAPTER II  The Pool of Tears

 Curiouser and curiouser   cried Alice  she was so much surprised  that
for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English    now I m
opening out like the largest telescope that ever was  Good bye  feet  
 for when she looked down at her feet  they seemed to be almost out of
sight  they were getting so far off    Oh  my poor little feet  I wonder
who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now  dears  I m sure
 I  shan t be able  I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble
myself about you  you must manage the best way you can   but I must be
kind to them   thought Alice   or perhaps they won t walk the way I want
to go  Let me see  I ll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas  

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it   They must
go by the carrier   she thought   and how funny it ll seem  sending
presents to one s own feet  And how odd the directions will look 

     ALICE S RIGHT FOOT  ESQ 
       HEARTHRUG 
         NEAR THE FENDER 
            WITH ALICE S LOVE  

Oh dear  what nonsense I m talking  

Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall  in fact she was
now more than nine feet high  and she at once took up the little golden
key and hurried off to the garden door 

Poor Alice  It was as much as she could do  lying down on one side  to
look through into the garden with one eye  but to get through was more
hopeless than ever  she sat down and began to cry again 

 You ought to be ashamed of yourself   said Alice   a great girl like
you    she might well say this    to go on crying in this way  Stop this
moment  I tell you   But she went on all the same  shedding gallons of
tears  until there was a large pool all round her  about four inches
deep and reaching half down the hall 

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance  and
she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming  It was the White
Rabbit returning  splendidly dressed  with a pair of white kid gloves in
one hand and a large fan in the other  he came trotting along in a great
hurry  muttering to himself as he came   Oh  the Duchess  the Duchess 
Oh  won t she be savage if I ve kept her waiting   Alice felt so
desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one  so  when the Rabbit
came near her  she began  in a low  timid voice   If you please  sir   
The Rabbit started violently  dropped the white kid gloves and the fan 
and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go 

Alice took up the fan and gloves  and  as the hall was very hot  she
kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking   Dear  dear  How
queer everything is to day  And yesterday things went on just as usual 
I wonder if I ve been changed in the night  Let me think  was I the
same when I got up this morning  I almost think I can remember feeling a
little different  But if I m not the same  the next question is  Who
in the world am I  Ah  THAT S the great puzzle   And she began thinking
over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself  to
see if she could have been changed for any of them 

 I m sure I m not Ada   she said   for her hair goes in such long
ringlets  and mine doesn t go in ringlets at all  and I m sure I can t
be Mabel  for I know all sorts of things  and she  oh  she knows such a
very little  Besides  SHE S she  and I m I  and  oh dear  how puzzling
it all is  I ll try if I know all the things I used to know  Let me
see  four times five is twelve  and four times six is thirteen  and
four times seven is  oh dear  I shall never get to twenty at that rate 
However  the Multiplication Table doesn t signify  let s try Geography 
London is the capital of Paris  and Paris is the capital of Rome  and
Rome  no  THAT S all wrong  I m certain  I must have been changed for
Mabel  I ll try and say  How doth the little     and she crossed her
hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons  and began to repeat it 
but her voice sounded hoarse and strange  and the words did not come the
same as they used to do   

      How doth the little crocodile
      Improve his shining tail 
     And pour the waters of the Nile
      On every golden scale 

      How cheerfully he seems to grin 
      How neatly spread his claws 
     And welcome little fishes in
      With gently smiling jaws  

 I m sure those are not the right words   said poor Alice  and her eyes
filled with tears again as she went on   I must be Mabel after all  and
I shall have to go and live in that poky little house  and have next to
no toys to play with  and oh  ever so many lessons to learn  No  I ve
made up my mind about it  if I m Mabel  I ll stay down here  It ll be no
use their putting their heads down and saying  Come up again  dear   I
shall only look up and say  Who am I then  Tell me that first  and then 
if I like being that person  I ll come up  if not  I ll stay down here
till I m somebody else   but  oh dear   cried Alice  with a sudden burst
of tears   I do wish they WOULD put their heads down  I am so VERY tired
of being all alone here  

As she said this she looked down at her hands  and was surprised to see
that she had put on one of the Rabbit s little white kid gloves while
she was talking   How CAN I have done that   she thought   I must
be growing small again   She got up and went to the table to measure
herself by it  and found that  as nearly as she could guess  she was now
about two feet high  and was going on shrinking rapidly  she soon found
out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding  and she dropped
it hastily  just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether 

 That WAS a narrow escape   said Alice  a good deal frightened at the
sudden change  but very glad to find herself still in existence   and
now for the garden   and she ran with all speed back to the little door 
but  alas  the little door was shut again  and the little golden key was
lying on the glass table as before   and things are worse than ever  
thought the poor child   for I never was so small as this before  never 
And I declare it s too bad  that it is  

As she said these words her foot slipped  and in another moment  splash 
she was up to her chin in salt water  Her first idea was that she
had somehow fallen into the sea   and in that case I can go back by
railway   she said to herself   Alice had been to the seaside once in
her life  and had come to the general conclusion  that wherever you go
to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the
sea  some children digging in the sand with wooden spades  then a row
of lodging houses  and behind them a railway station   However  she soon
made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she
was nine feet high 

 I wish I hadn t cried so much   said Alice  as she swam about  trying
to find her way out   I shall be punished for it now  I suppose  by
being drowned in my own tears  That WILL be a queer thing  to be sure 
However  everything is queer to day  

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way
off  and she swam nearer to make out what it was  at first she thought
it must be a walrus or hippopotamus  but then she remembered how small
she was now  and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had
slipped in like herself 

 Would it be of any use  now   thought Alice   to speak to this mouse 
Everything is so out of the way down here  that I should think very
likely it can talk  at any rate  there s no harm in trying   So she
began   O Mouse  do you know the way out of this pool  I am very tired
of swimming about here  O Mouse    Alice thought this must be the right
way of speaking to a mouse  she had never done such a thing before  but
she remembered having seen in her brother s Latin Grammar   A mouse  of
a mouse  to a mouse  a mouse  O mouse    The Mouse looked at her rather
inquisitively  and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes 
but it said nothing 

 Perhaps it doesn t understand English   thought Alice   I daresay it s
a French mouse  come over with William the Conqueror    For  with all
her knowledge of history  Alice had no very clear notion how long ago
anything had happened   So she began again   Ou est ma chatte   which
was the first sentence in her French lesson book  The Mouse gave a
sudden leap out of the water  and seemed to quiver all over with fright 
 Oh  I beg your pardon   cried Alice hastily  afraid that she had hurt
the poor animal s feelings   I quite forgot you didn t like cats  

 Not like cats   cried the Mouse  in a shrill  passionate voice   Would
YOU like cats if you were me  

 Well  perhaps not   said Alice in a soothing tone   don t be angry
about it  And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah  I think you d
take a fancy to cats if you could only see her  She is such a dear quiet
thing   Alice went on  half to herself  as she swam lazily about in the
pool   and she sits purring so nicely by the fire  licking her paws and
washing her face  and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse  and she s
such a capital one for catching mice  oh  I beg your pardon   cried
Alice again  for this time the Mouse was bristling all over  and she
felt certain it must be really offended   We won t talk about her any
more if you d rather not  

 We indeed   cried the Mouse  who was trembling down to the end of his
tail   As if I would talk on such a subject  Our family always HATED
cats  nasty  low  vulgar things  Don t let me hear the name again  

 I won t indeed   said Alice  in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation   Are you  are you fond  of  of dogs   The Mouse did not
answer  so Alice went on eagerly   There is such a nice little dog near
our house I should like to show you  A little bright eyed terrier  you
know  with oh  such long curly brown hair  And it ll fetch things when
you throw them  and it ll sit up and beg for its dinner  and all sorts
of things  I can t remember half of them  and it belongs to a farmer 
you know  and he says it s so useful  it s worth a hundred pounds  He
says it kills all the rats and  oh dear   cried Alice in a sorrowful
tone   I m afraid I ve offended it again   For the Mouse was swimming
away from her as hard as it could go  and making quite a commotion in
the pool as it went 

So she called softly after it   Mouse dear  Do come back again  and we
won t talk about cats or dogs either  if you don t like them   When the
Mouse heard this  it turned round and swam slowly back to her  its
face was quite pale  with passion  Alice thought   and it said in a low
trembling voice   Let us get to the shore  and then I ll tell you my
history  and you ll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs  

It was high time to go  for the pool was getting quite crowded with the
birds and animals that had fallen into it  there were a Duck and a Dodo 
a Lory and an Eaglet  and several other curious creatures  Alice led the
way  and the whole party swam to the shore 




CHAPTER III  A Caucus Race and a Long Tale

They were indeed a queer looking party that assembled on the bank  the
birds with draggled feathers  the animals with their fur clinging close
to them  and all dripping wet  cross  and uncomfortable 

The first question of course was  how to get dry again  they had a
consultation about this  and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural
to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them  as if she had
known them all her life  Indeed  she had quite a long argument with the
Lory  who at last turned sulky  and would only say   I am older than
you  and must know better   and this Alice would not allow without
knowing how old it was  and  as the Lory positively refused to tell its
age  there was no more to be said 

At last the Mouse  who seemed to be a person of authority among them 
called out   Sit down  all of you  and listen to me  I LL soon make you
dry enough   They all sat down at once  in a large ring  with the Mouse
in the middle  Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it  for she felt
sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon 

 Ahem   said the Mouse with an important air   are you all ready  This
is the driest thing I know  Silence all round  if you please   William
the Conqueror  whose cause was favoured by the pope  was soon submitted
to by the English  who wanted leaders  and had been of late much
accustomed to usurpation and conquest  Edwin and Morcar  the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria    

 Ugh   said the Lory  with a shiver 

 I beg your pardon   said the Mouse  frowning  but very politely   Did
you speak  

 Not I   said the Lory hastily 

 I thought you did   said the Mouse     I proceed   Edwin and Morcar 
the earls of Mercia and Northumbria  declared for him  and even Stigand 
the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury  found it advisable    

 Found WHAT   said the Duck 

 Found IT   the Mouse replied rather crossly   of course you know what
 it  means  

 I know what  it  means well enough  when I find a thing   said the
Duck   it s generally a frog or a worm  The question is  what did the
archbishop find  

The Mouse did not notice this question  but hurriedly went on      found
it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the
crown  William s conduct at first was moderate  But the insolence of his
Normans    How are you getting on now  my dear   it continued  turning
to Alice as it spoke 

 As wet as ever   said Alice in a melancholy tone   it doesn t seem to
dry me at all  

 In that case   said the Dodo solemnly  rising to its feet   I move
that the meeting adjourn  for the immediate adoption of more energetic
remedies   

 Speak English   said the Eaglet   I don t know the meaning of half
those long words  and  what s more  I don t believe you do either   And
the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile  some of the other birds
tittered audibly 

 What I was going to say   said the Dodo in an offended tone   was  that
the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus race  

 What IS a Caucus race   said Alice  not that she wanted much to know 
but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak 
and no one else seemed inclined to say anything 

 Why   said the Dodo   the best way to explain it is to do it    And  as
you might like to try the thing yourself  some winter day  I will tell
you how the Dodo managed it  

First it marked out a race course  in a sort of circle    the exact
shape doesn t matter   it said   and then all the party were placed
along the course  here and there  There was no  One  two  three  and
away   but they began running when they liked  and left off when they
liked  so that it was not easy to know when the race was over  However 
when they had been running half an hour or so  and were quite dry again 
the Dodo suddenly called out  The race is over   and they all crowded
round it  panting  and asking   But who has won  

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought 
and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead
 the position in which you usually see Shakespeare  in the pictures
of him   while the rest waited in silence  At last the Dodo said 
 EVERYBODY has won  and all must have prizes  

 But who is to give the prizes   quite a chorus of voices asked 

 Why  SHE  of course   said the Dodo  pointing to Alice with one finger 
and the whole party at once crowded round her  calling out in a confused
way   Prizes  Prizes  

Alice had no idea what to do  and in despair she put her hand in her
pocket  and pulled out a box of comfits   luckily the salt water had
not got into it   and handed them round as prizes  There was exactly one
a piece all round 

 But she must have a prize herself  you know   said the Mouse 

 Of course   the Dodo replied very gravely   What else have you got in
your pocket   he went on  turning to Alice 

 Only a thimble   said Alice sadly 

 Hand it over here   said the Dodo 

Then they all crowded round her once more  while the Dodo solemnly
presented the thimble  saying  We beg your acceptance of this elegant
thimble   and  when it had finished this short speech  they all cheered 

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd  but they all looked so grave
that she did not dare to laugh  and  as she could not think of anything
to say  she simply bowed  and took the thimble  looking as solemn as she
could 

The next thing was to eat the comfits  this caused some noise and
confusion  as the large birds complained that they could not taste
theirs  and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back 
However  it was over at last  and they sat down again in a ring  and
begged the Mouse to tell them something more 

 You promised to tell me your history  you know   said Alice   and why
it is you hate  C and D   she added in a whisper  half afraid that it
would be offended again 

 Mine is a long and a sad tale   said the Mouse  turning to Alice  and
sighing 

 It IS a long tail  certainly   said Alice  looking down with wonder at
the Mouse s tail   but why do you call it sad   And she kept on puzzling
about it while the Mouse was speaking  so that her idea of the tale was
something like this   

          Fury said to a
         mouse  That he
        met in the
       house 
      Let us
      both go to
       law  I will
        prosecute
         YOU   Come 
           I ll take no
           denial  We
          must have a
        trial  For
      really this
     morning I ve
    nothing
    to do  
     Said the
      mouse to the
       cur   Such
        a trial 
         dear Sir 
            With
          no jury
        or judge 
       would be
      wasting
      our
      breath  
        I ll be
        judge  I ll
         be jury  
            Said
         cunning
          old Fury 
           I ll
          try the
            whole
            cause 
              and
           condemn
           you
          to
           death   


 You are not attending   said the Mouse to Alice severely   What are you
thinking of  

 I beg your pardon   said Alice very humbly   you had got to the fifth
bend  I think  

 I had NOT   cried the Mouse  sharply and very angrily 

 A knot   said Alice  always ready to make herself useful  and looking
anxiously about her   Oh  do let me help to undo it  

 I shall do nothing of the sort   said the Mouse  getting up and walking
away   You insult me by talking such nonsense  

 I didn t mean it   pleaded poor Alice   But you re so easily offended 
you know  

The Mouse only growled in reply 

 Please come back and finish your story   Alice called after it  and the
others all joined in chorus   Yes  please do   but the Mouse only shook
its head impatiently  and walked a little quicker 

 What a pity it wouldn t stay   sighed the Lory  as soon as it was quite
out of sight  and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her
daughter  Ah  my dear  Let this be a lesson to you never to lose
YOUR temper    Hold your tongue  Ma   said the young Crab  a little
snappishly   You re enough to try the patience of an oyster  

 I wish I had our Dinah here  I know I do   said Alice aloud  addressing
nobody in particular   She d soon fetch it back  

 And who is Dinah  if I might venture to ask the question   said the
Lory 

Alice replied eagerly  for she was always ready to talk about her pet 
 Dinah s our cat  And she s such a capital one for catching mice you
can t think  And oh  I wish you could see her after the birds  Why 
she ll eat a little bird as soon as look at it  

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party  Some of the
birds hurried off at once  one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very
carefully  remarking   I really must be getting home  the night air
doesn t suit my throat   and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to
its children   Come away  my dears  It s high time you were all in bed  
On various pretexts they all moved off  and Alice was soon left alone 

 I wish I hadn t mentioned Dinah   she said to herself in a melancholy
tone   Nobody seems to like her  down here  and I m sure she s the best
cat in the world  Oh  my dear Dinah  I wonder if I shall ever see you
any more   And here poor Alice began to cry again  for she felt very
lonely and low spirited  In a little while  however  she again heard
a little pattering of footsteps in the distance  and she looked up
eagerly  half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind  and was coming
back to finish his story 




CHAPTER IV  The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

It was the White Rabbit  trotting slowly back again  and looking
anxiously about as it went  as if it had lost something  and she heard
it muttering to itself  The Duchess  The Duchess  Oh my dear paws  Oh
my fur and whiskers  She ll get me executed  as sure as ferrets are
ferrets  Where CAN I have dropped them  I wonder   Alice guessed in a
moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves 
and she very good naturedly began hunting about for them  but they were
nowhere to be seen  everything seemed to have changed since her swim in
the pool  and the great hall  with the glass table and the little door 
had vanished completely 

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice  as she went hunting about  and
called out to her in an angry tone   Why  Mary Ann  what ARE you doing
out here  Run home this moment  and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan 
Quick  now   And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once
in the direction it pointed to  without trying to explain the mistake it
had made 

 He took me for his housemaid   she said to herself as she ran   How
surprised he ll be when he finds out who I am  But I d better take him
his fan and gloves  that is  if I can find them   As she said this  she
came upon a neat little house  on the door of which was a bright brass
plate with the name  W  RABBIT  engraved upon it  She went in without
knocking  and hurried upstairs  in great fear lest she should meet the
real Mary Ann  and be turned out of the house before she had found the
fan and gloves 

 How queer it seems   Alice said to herself   to be going messages for
a rabbit  I suppose Dinah ll be sending me on messages next   And she
began fancying the sort of thing that would happen    Miss Alice  Come
here directly  and get ready for your walk    Coming in a minute 
nurse  But I ve got to see that the mouse doesn t get out   Only I don t
think   Alice went on   that they d let Dinah stop in the house if it
began ordering people about like that  

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table
in the window  and on it  as she had hoped  a fan and two or three pairs
of tiny white kid gloves  she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves 
and was just going to leave the room  when her eye fell upon a little
bottle that stood near the looking glass  There was no label this time
with the words  DRINK ME   but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it
to her lips   I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen   she said
to herself   whenever I eat or drink anything  so I ll just see what
this bottle does  I do hope it ll make me grow large again  for really
I m quite tired of being such a tiny little thing  

It did so indeed  and much sooner than she had expected  before she had
drunk half the bottle  she found her head pressing against the ceiling 
and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken  She hastily put
down the bottle  saying to herself  That s quite enough  I hope I shan t
grow any more  As it is  I can t get out at the door  I do wish I hadn t
drunk quite so much  

Alas  it was too late to wish that  She went on growing  and growing 
and very soon had to kneel down on the floor  in another minute there
was not even room for this  and she tried the effect of lying down with
one elbow against the door  and the other arm curled round her head 
Still she went on growing  and  as a last resource  she put one arm out
of the window  and one foot up the chimney  and said to herself  Now I
can do no more  whatever happens  What WILL become of me  

Luckily for Alice  the little magic bottle had now had its full effect 
and she grew no larger  still it was very uncomfortable  and  as there
seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
again  no wonder she felt unhappy 

 It was much pleasanter at home   thought poor Alice   when one wasn t
always growing larger and smaller  and being ordered about by mice and
rabbits  I almost wish I hadn t gone down that rabbit hole  and yet  and
yet  it s rather curious  you know  this sort of life  I do wonder what
CAN have happened to me  When I used to read fairy tales  I fancied that
kind of thing never happened  and now here I am in the middle of one 
There ought to be a book written about me  that there ought  And when I
grow up  I ll write one  but I m grown up now   she added in a sorrowful
tone   at least there s no room to grow up any more HERE  

 But then   thought Alice   shall I NEVER get any older than I am
now  That ll be a comfort  one way  never to be an old woman  but
then  always to have lessons to learn  Oh  I shouldn t like THAT  

 Oh  you foolish Alice   she answered herself   How can you learn
lessons in here  Why  there s hardly room for YOU  and no room at all
for any lesson books  

And so she went on  taking first one side and then the other  and making
quite a conversation of it altogether  but after a few minutes she heard
a voice outside  and stopped to listen 

 Mary Ann  Mary Ann   said the voice   Fetch me my gloves this moment  
Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs  Alice knew it was
the Rabbit coming to look for her  and she trembled till she shook the
house  quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large
as the Rabbit  and had no reason to be afraid of it 

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door  and tried to open it  but  as
the door opened inwards  and Alice s elbow was pressed hard against it 
that attempt proved a failure  Alice heard it say to itself  Then I ll
go round and get in at the window  

 THAT you won t  thought Alice  and  after waiting till she fancied
she heard the Rabbit just under the window  she suddenly spread out her
hand  and made a snatch in the air  She did not get hold of anything 
but she heard a little shriek and a fall  and a crash of broken glass 
from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a
cucumber frame  or something of the sort 

Next came an angry voice  the Rabbit s   Pat  Pat  Where are you   And
then a voice she had never heard before   Sure then I m here  Digging
for apples  yer honour  

 Digging for apples  indeed   said the Rabbit angrily   Here  Come and
help me out of THIS    Sounds of more broken glass  

 Now tell me  Pat  what s that in the window  

 Sure  it s an arm  yer honour    He pronounced it  arrum   

 An arm  you goose  Who ever saw one that size  Why  it fills the whole
window  

 Sure  it does  yer honour  but it s an arm for all that  

 Well  it s got no business there  at any rate  go and take it away  

There was a long silence after this  and Alice could only hear whispers
now and then  such as   Sure  I don t like it  yer honour  at all  at
all    Do as I tell you  you coward   and at last she spread out her
hand again  and made another snatch in the air  This time there were
TWO little shrieks  and more sounds of broken glass   What a number of
cucumber frames there must be   thought Alice   I wonder what they ll do
next  As for pulling me out of the window  I only wish they COULD  I m
sure I don t want to stay in here any longer  

She waited for some time without hearing anything more  at last came a
rumbling of little cartwheels  and the sound of a good many voices
all talking together  she made out the words   Where s the other
ladder   Why  I hadn t to bring but one  Bill s got the other  Bill 
fetch it here  lad   Here  put  em up at this corner  No  tie  em
together first  they don t reach half high enough yet  Oh  they ll
do well enough  don t be particular  Here  Bill  catch hold of this
rope  Will the roof bear   Mind that loose slate  Oh  it s coming
down  Heads below    a loud crash    Now  who did that   It was Bill  I
fancy  Who s to go down the chimney   Nay  I shan t  YOU do it   That I
won t  then   Bill s to go down  Here  Bill  the master says you re to
go down the chimney  

 Oh  So Bill s got to come down the chimney  has he   said Alice to
herself   Shy  they seem to put everything upon Bill  I wouldn t be in
Bill s place for a good deal  this fireplace is narrow  to be sure  but
I THINK I can kick a little  

She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could  and waited
till she heard a little animal  she couldn t guess of what sort it was 
scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her  then 
saying to herself  This is Bill   she gave one sharp kick  and waited to
see what would happen next 

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of  There goes Bill  
then the Rabbit s voice along   Catch him  you by the hedge   then
silence  and then another confusion of voices   Hold up his head  Brandy
now  Don t choke him  How was it  old fellow  What happened to you  Tell
us all about it  

Last came a little feeble  squeaking voice    That s Bill   thought
Alice    Well  I hardly know  No more  thank ye  I m better now  but I m
a deal too flustered to tell you  all I know is  something comes at me
like a Jack in the box  and up I goes like a sky rocket  

 So you did  old fellow   said the others 

 We must burn the house down   said the Rabbit s voice  and Alice called
out as loud as she could   If you do  I ll set Dinah at you  

There was a dead silence instantly  and Alice thought to herself   I
wonder what they WILL do next  If they had any sense  they d take the
roof off   After a minute or two  they began moving about again  and
Alice heard the Rabbit say   A barrowful will do  to begin with  

 A barrowful of WHAT   thought Alice  but she had not long to doubt 
for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the
window  and some of them hit her in the face   I ll put a stop to this  
she said to herself  and shouted out   You d better not do that again  
which produced another dead silence 

Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
little cakes as they lay on the floor  and a bright idea came into her
head   If I eat one of these cakes   she thought   it s sure to make
SOME change in my size  and as it can t possibly make me larger  it must
make me smaller  I suppose  

So she swallowed one of the cakes  and was delighted to find that she
began shrinking directly  As soon as she was small enough to get through
the door  she ran out of the house  and found quite a crowd of little
animals and birds waiting outside  The poor little Lizard  Bill  was
in the middle  being held up by two guinea pigs  who were giving it
something out of a bottle  They all made a rush at Alice the moment she
appeared  but she ran off as hard as she could  and soon found herself
safe in a thick wood 

 The first thing I ve got to do   said Alice to herself  as she wandered
about in the wood   is to grow to my right size again  and the second
thing is to find my way into that lovely garden  I think that will be
the best plan  

It sounded an excellent plan  no doubt  and very neatly and simply
arranged  the only difficulty was  that she had not the smallest idea
how to set about it  and while she was peering about anxiously among
the trees  a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
great hurry 

An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes  and
feebly stretching out one paw  trying to touch her   Poor little thing  
said Alice  in a coaxing tone  and she tried hard to whistle to it  but
she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be
hungry  in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of
all her coaxing 

Hardly knowing what she did  she picked up a little bit of stick  and
held it out to the puppy  whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off
all its feet at once  with a yelp of delight  and rushed at the stick 
and made believe to worry it  then Alice dodged behind a great thistle 
to keep herself from being run over  and the moment she appeared on the
other side  the puppy made another rush at the stick  and tumbled head
over heels in its hurry to get hold of it  then Alice  thinking it was
very like having a game of play with a cart horse  and expecting every
moment to be trampled under its feet  ran round the thistle again  then
the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick  running a very
little way forwards each time and a long way back  and barking hoarsely
all the while  till at last it sat down a good way off  panting  with
its tongue hanging out of its mouth  and its great eyes half shut 

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape  so she
set off at once  and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath  and
till the puppy s bark sounded quite faint in the distance 

 And yet what a dear little puppy it was   said Alice  as she leant
against a buttercup to rest herself  and fanned herself with one of the
leaves   I should have liked teaching it tricks very much  if  if I d
only been the right size to do it  Oh dear  I d nearly forgotten that
I ve got to grow up again  Let me see  how IS it to be managed  I
suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other  but the great
question is  what  

The great question certainly was  what  Alice looked all round her at
the flowers and the blades of grass  but she did not see anything that
looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances 
There was a large mushroom growing near her  about the same height as
herself  and when she had looked under it  and on both sides of it  and
behind it  it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what
was on the top of it 

She stretched herself up on tiptoe  and peeped over the edge of the
mushroom  and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar 
that was sitting on the top with its arms folded  quietly smoking a long
hookah  and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else 




CHAPTER V  Advice from a Caterpillar

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence 
at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth  and addressed
her in a languid  sleepy voice 

 Who are YOU   said the Caterpillar 

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation  Alice replied 
rather shyly   I  I hardly know  sir  just at present  at least I know
who I WAS when I got up this morning  but I think I must have been
changed several times since then  

 What do you mean by that   said the Caterpillar sternly   Explain
yourself  

 I can t explain MYSELF  I m afraid  sir  said Alice   because I m not
myself  you see  

 I don t see   said the Caterpillar 

 I m afraid I can t put it more clearly   Alice replied very politely 
 for I can t understand it myself to begin with  and being so many
different sizes in a day is very confusing  

 It isn t   said the Caterpillar 

 Well  perhaps you haven t found it so yet   said Alice   but when you
have to turn into a chrysalis  you will some day  you know  and then
after that into a butterfly  I should think you ll feel it a little
queer  won t you  

 Not a bit   said the Caterpillar 

 Well  perhaps your feelings may be different   said Alice   all I know
is  it would feel very queer to ME  

 You   said the Caterpillar contemptuously   Who are YOU  

Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation 
Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar s making such VERY
short remarks  and she drew herself up and said  very gravely   I think 
you ought to tell me who YOU are  first  

 Why   said the Caterpillar 

Here was another puzzling question  and as Alice could not think of any
good reason  and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant
state of mind  she turned away 

 Come back   the Caterpillar called after her   I ve something important
to say  

This sounded promising  certainly  Alice turned and came back again 

 Keep your temper   said the Caterpillar 

 Is that all   said Alice  swallowing down her anger as well as she
could 

 No   said the Caterpillar 

Alice thought she might as well wait  as she had nothing else to do  and
perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing  For some
minutes it puffed away without speaking  but at last it unfolded its
arms  took the hookah out of its mouth again  and said   So you think
you re changed  do you  

 I m afraid I am  sir   said Alice   I can t remember things as I
used  and I don t keep the same size for ten minutes together  

 Can t remember WHAT things   said the Caterpillar 

 Well  I ve tried to say  HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE   but it all came
different   Alice replied in a very melancholy voice 

 Repeat   YOU ARE OLD  FATHER WILLIAM    said the Caterpillar 

Alice folded her hands  and began   

    You are old  Father William   the young man said 
     And your hair has become very white 
   And yet you incessantly stand on your head  
    Do you think  at your age  it is right  

    In my youth   Father William replied to his son 
     I feared it might injure the brain 
   But  now that I m perfectly sure I have none 
    Why  I do it again and again  

    You are old   said the youth   as I mentioned before 
    And have grown most uncommonly fat 
   Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door  
    Pray  what is the reason of that  

    In my youth   said the sage  as he shook his grey locks 
     I kept all my limbs very supple
   By the use of this ointment  one shilling the box  
    Allow me to sell you a couple  

    You are old   said the youth   and your jaws are too weak
    For anything tougher than suet 
   Yet you finished the goose  with the bones and the beak  
    Pray how did you manage to do it  

    In my youth   said his father   I took to the law 
    And argued each case with my wife 
   And the muscular strength  which it gave to my jaw 
    Has lasted the rest of my life  

    You are old   said the youth   one would hardly suppose
    That your eye was as steady as ever 
   Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose  
    What made you so awfully clever  

    I have answered three questions  and that is enough  
    Said his father   don t give yourself airs 
   Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff 
    Be off  or I ll kick you down stairs  


 That is not said right   said the Caterpillar 

 Not QUITE right  I m afraid   said Alice  timidly   some of the words
have got altered  

 It is wrong from beginning to end   said the Caterpillar decidedly  and
there was silence for some minutes 

The Caterpillar was the first to speak 

 What size do you want to be   it asked 

 Oh  I m not particular as to size   Alice hastily replied   only one
doesn t like changing so often  you know  

 I DON T know   said the Caterpillar 

Alice said nothing  she had never been so much contradicted in her life
before  and she felt that she was losing her temper 

 Are you content now   said the Caterpillar 

 Well  I should like to be a LITTLE larger  sir  if you wouldn t mind  
said Alice   three inches is such a wretched height to be  

 It is a very good height indeed   said the Caterpillar angrily  rearing
itself upright as it spoke  it was exactly three inches high  

 But I m not used to it   pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone  And
she thought of herself   I wish the creatures wouldn t be so easily
offended  

 You ll get used to it in time   said the Caterpillar  and it put the
hookah into its mouth and began smoking again 

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again  In
a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth
and yawned once or twice  and shook itself  Then it got down off the
mushroom  and crawled away in the grass  merely remarking as it went 
 One side will make you grow taller  and the other side will make you
grow shorter  

 One side of WHAT  The other side of WHAT   thought Alice to herself 

 Of the mushroom   said the Caterpillar  just as if she had asked it
aloud  and in another moment it was out of sight 

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute  trying
to make out which were the two sides of it  and as it was perfectly
round  she found this a very difficult question  However  at last she
stretched her arms round it as far as they would go  and broke off a bit
of the edge with each hand 

 And now which is which   she said to herself  and nibbled a little of
the right hand bit to try the effect  the next moment she felt a violent
blow underneath her chin  it had struck her foot 

She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change  but she felt
that there was no time to be lost  as she was shrinking rapidly  so she
set to work at once to eat some of the other bit  Her chin was pressed
so closely against her foot  that there was hardly room to open her
mouth  but she did it at last  and managed to swallow a morsel of the
lefthand bit 


                                 

                              

                                 

 Come  my head s free at last   said Alice in a tone of delight  which
changed into alarm in another moment  when she found that her shoulders
were nowhere to be found  all she could see  when she looked down  was
an immense length of neck  which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a
sea of green leaves that lay far below her 

 What CAN all that green stuff be   said Alice   And where HAVE my
shoulders got to  And oh  my poor hands  how is it I can t see you  
She was moving them about as she spoke  but no result seemed to follow 
except a little shaking among the distant green leaves 

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head  she
tried to get her head down to them  and was delighted to find that her
neck would bend about easily in any direction  like a serpent  She had
just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag  and was going
to dive in among the leaves  which she found to be nothing but the tops
of the trees under which she had been wandering  when a sharp hiss made
her draw back in a hurry  a large pigeon had flown into her face  and
was beating her violently with its wings 

 Serpent   screamed the Pigeon 

 I m NOT a serpent   said Alice indignantly   Let me alone  

 Serpent  I say again   repeated the Pigeon  but in a more subdued tone 
and added with a kind of sob   I ve tried every way  and nothing seems
to suit them  

 I haven t the least idea what you re talking about   said Alice 

 I ve tried the roots of trees  and I ve tried banks  and I ve tried
hedges   the Pigeon went on  without attending to her   but those
serpents  There s no pleasing them  

Alice was more and more puzzled  but she thought there was no use in
saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished 

 As if it wasn t trouble enough hatching the eggs   said the Pigeon 
 but I must be on the look out for serpents night and day  Why  I
haven t had a wink of sleep these three weeks  

 I m very sorry you ve been annoyed   said Alice  who was beginning to
see its meaning 

 And just as I d taken the highest tree in the wood   continued the
Pigeon  raising its voice to a shriek   and just as I was thinking I
should be free of them at last  they must needs come wriggling down from
the sky  Ugh  Serpent  

 But I m NOT a serpent  I tell you   said Alice   I m a  I m a   

 Well  WHAT are you   said the Pigeon   I can see you re trying to
invent something  

 I  I m a little girl   said Alice  rather doubtfully  as she remembered
the number of changes she had gone through that day 

 A likely story indeed   said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt   I ve seen a good many little girls in my time  but never ONE
with such a neck as that  No  no  You re a serpent  and there s no use
denying it  I suppose you ll be telling me next that you never tasted an
egg  

 I HAVE tasted eggs  certainly   said Alice  who was a very truthful
child   but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do  you
know  

 I don t believe it   said the Pigeon   but if they do  why then they re
a kind of serpent  that s all I can say  

This was such a new idea to Alice  that she was quite silent for a
minute or two  which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding   You re
looking for eggs  I know THAT well enough  and what does it matter to me
whether you re a little girl or a serpent  

 It matters a good deal to ME   said Alice hastily   but I m not looking
for eggs  as it happens  and if I was  I shouldn t want YOURS  I don t
like them raw  

 Well  be off  then   said the Pigeon in a sulky tone  as it settled
down again into its nest  Alice crouched down among the trees as well as
she could  for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches  and
every now and then she had to stop and untwist it  After a while she
remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands  and
she set to work very carefully  nibbling first at one and then at the
other  and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter  until she had
succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height 

It was so long since she had been anything near the right size  that it
felt quite strange at first  but she got used to it in a few minutes 
and began talking to herself  as usual   Come  there s half my plan done
now  How puzzling all these changes are  I m never sure what I m going
to be  from one minute to another  However  I ve got back to my right
size  the next thing is  to get into that beautiful garden  how IS that
to be done  I wonder   As she said this  she came suddenly upon an open
place  with a little house in it about four feet high   Whoever lives
there   thought Alice   it ll never do to come upon them THIS size  why 
I should frighten them out of their wits   So she began nibbling at the
righthand bit again  and did not venture to go near the house till she
had brought herself down to nine inches high 




CHAPTER VI  Pig and Pepper

For a minute or two she stood looking at the house  and wondering what
to do next  when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the
wood   she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery 
otherwise  judging by his face only  she would have called him a
fish   and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles  It was opened
by another footman in livery  with a round face  and large eyes like a
frog  and both footmen  Alice noticed  had powdered hair that curled all
over their heads  She felt very curious to know what it was all about 
and crept a little way out of the wood to listen 

The Fish Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter 
nearly as large as himself  and this he handed over to the other 
saying  in a solemn tone   For the Duchess  An invitation from the Queen
to play croquet   The Frog Footman repeated  in the same solemn tone 
only changing the order of the words a little   From the Queen  An
invitation for the Duchess to play croquet  

Then they both bowed low  and their curls got entangled together 

Alice laughed so much at this  that she had to run back into the
wood for fear of their hearing her  and when she next peeped out the
Fish Footman was gone  and the other was sitting on the ground near the
door  staring stupidly up into the sky 

Alice went timidly up to the door  and knocked 

 There s no sort of use in knocking   said the Footman   and that for
two reasons  First  because I m on the same side of the door as you
are  secondly  because they re making such a noise inside  no one could
possibly hear you   And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise
going on within  a constant howling and sneezing  and every now and then
a great crash  as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces 

 Please  then   said Alice   how am I to get in  

 There might be some sense in your knocking   the Footman went on
without attending to her   if we had the door between us  For instance 
if you were INSIDE  you might knock  and I could let you out  you know  
He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking  and this
Alice thought decidedly uncivil   But perhaps he can t help it   she
said to herself   his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head 
But at any rate he might answer questions   How am I to get in   she
repeated  aloud 

 I shall sit here   the Footman remarked   till tomorrow   

At this moment the door of the house opened  and a large plate came
skimming out  straight at the Footman s head  it just grazed his nose 
and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him 

   or next day  maybe   the Footman continued in the same tone  exactly
as if nothing had happened 

 How am I to get in   asked Alice again  in a louder tone 

 ARE you to get in at all   said the Footman   That s the first
question  you know  

It was  no doubt  only Alice did not like to be told so   It s really
dreadful   she muttered to herself   the way all the creatures argue 
It s enough to drive one crazy  

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his
remark  with variations   I shall sit here   he said   on and off  for
days and days  

 But what am I to do   said Alice 

 Anything you like   said the Footman  and began whistling 

 Oh  there s no use in talking to him   said Alice desperately   he s
perfectly idiotic   And she opened the door and went in 

The door led right into a large kitchen  which was full of smoke from
one end to the other  the Duchess was sitting on a three legged stool in
the middle  nursing a baby  the cook was leaning over the fire  stirring
a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup 

 There s certainly too much pepper in that soup   Alice said to herself 
as well as she could for sneezing 

There was certainly too much of it in the air  Even the Duchess
sneezed occasionally  and as for the baby  it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment s pause  The only things in the kitchen
that did not sneeze  were the cook  and a large cat which was sitting on
the hearth and grinning from ear to ear 

 Please would you tell me   said Alice  a little timidly  for she was
not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first   why
your cat grins like that  

 It s a Cheshire cat   said the Duchess   and that s why  Pig  

She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
jumped  but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby 
and not to her  so she took courage  and went on again   

 I didn t know that Cheshire cats always grinned  in fact  I didn t know
that cats COULD grin  

 They all can   said the Duchess   and most of  em do  

 I don t know of any that do   Alice said very politely  feeling quite
pleased to have got into a conversation 

 You don t know much   said the Duchess   and that s a fact  

Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark  and thought it would
be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation  While she
was trying to fix on one  the cook took the cauldron of soup off the
fire  and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
the Duchess and the baby  the fire irons came first  then followed a
shower of saucepans  plates  and dishes  The Duchess took no notice of
them even when they hit her  and the baby was howling so much already 
that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not 

 Oh  PLEASE mind what you re doing   cried Alice  jumping up and down in
an agony of terror   Oh  there goes his PRECIOUS nose   as an unusually
large saucepan flew close by it  and very nearly carried it off 

 If everybody minded their own business   the Duchess said in a hoarse
growl   the world would go round a deal faster than it does  

 Which would NOT be an advantage   said Alice  who felt very glad to get
an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge   Just think of
what work it would make with the day and night  You see the earth takes
twenty four hours to turn round on its axis   

 Talking of axes   said the Duchess   chop off her head  

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook  to see if she meant to take
the hint  but the cook was busily stirring the soup  and seemed not to
be listening  so she went on again   Twenty four hours  I THINK  or is
it twelve  I   

 Oh  don t bother ME   said the Duchess   I never could abide figures  
And with that she began nursing her child again  singing a sort of
lullaby to it as she did so  and giving it a violent shake at the end of
every line 

    Speak roughly to your little boy 
    And beat him when he sneezes 
   He only does it to annoy 
    Because he knows it teases  

         CHORUS 

  In which the cook and the baby joined    

        Wow  wow  wow  

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song  she kept tossing
the baby violently up and down  and the poor little thing howled so 
that Alice could hardly hear the words   

    I speak severely to my boy 
    I beat him when he sneezes 
   For he can thoroughly enjoy
    The pepper when he pleases  

         CHORUS 

        Wow  wow  wow  

 Here  you may nurse it a bit  if you like   the Duchess said to Alice 
flinging the baby at her as she spoke   I must go and get ready to play
croquet with the Queen   and she hurried out of the room  The cook threw
a frying pan after her as she went out  but it just missed her 

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty  as it was a queer shaped
little creature  and held out its arms and legs in all directions   just
like a star fish   thought Alice  The poor little thing was snorting
like a steam engine when she caught it  and kept doubling itself up and
straightening itself out again  so that altogether  for the first minute
or two  it was as much as she could do to hold it 

As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it   which was to
twist it up into a sort of knot  and then keep tight hold of its right
ear and left foot  so as to prevent its undoing itself   she carried
it out into the open air   IF I don t take this child away with me  
thought Alice   they re sure to kill it in a day or two  wouldn t it be
murder to leave it behind   She said the last words out loud  and the
little thing grunted in reply  it had left off sneezing by this time  
 Don t grunt   said Alice   that s not at all a proper way of expressing
yourself  

The baby grunted again  and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to
see what was the matter with it  There could be no doubt that it had
a VERY turn up nose  much more like a snout than a real nose  also its
eyes were getting extremely small for a baby  altogether Alice did not
like the look of the thing at all   But perhaps it was only sobbing  
she thought  and looked into its eyes again  to see if there were any
tears 

No  there were no tears   If you re going to turn into a pig  my dear  
said Alice  seriously   I ll have nothing more to do with you  Mind
now   The poor little thing sobbed again  or grunted  it was impossible
to say which   and they went on for some while in silence 

Alice was just beginning to think to herself   Now  what am I to do with
this creature when I get it home   when it grunted again  so violently 
that she looked down into its face in some alarm  This time there could
be NO mistake about it  it was neither more nor less than a pig  and she
felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further 

So she set the little creature down  and felt quite relieved to see
it trot away quietly into the wood   If it had grown up   she said
to herself   it would have made a dreadfully ugly child  but it makes
rather a handsome pig  I think   And she began thinking over other
children she knew  who might do very well as pigs  and was just saying
to herself   if one only knew the right way to change them    when she
was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a
tree a few yards off 

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice  It looked good natured  she
thought  still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth  so she
felt that it ought to be treated with respect 

 Cheshire Puss   she began  rather timidly  as she did not at all know
whether it would like the name  however  it only grinned a little wider 
 Come  it s pleased so far   thought Alice  and she went on   Would you
tell me  please  which way I ought to go from here  

 That depends a good deal on where you want to get to   said the Cat 

 I don t much care where    said Alice 

 Then it doesn t matter which way you go   said the Cat 

   so long as I get SOMEWHERE   Alice added as an explanation 

 Oh  you re sure to do that   said the Cat   if you only walk long
enough  

Alice felt that this could not be denied  so she tried another question 
 What sort of people live about here  

 In THAT direction   the Cat said  waving its right paw round   lives
a Hatter  and in THAT direction   waving the other paw   lives a March
Hare  Visit either you like  they re both mad  

 But I don t want to go among mad people   Alice remarked 

 Oh  you can t help that   said the Cat   we re all mad here  I m mad 
You re mad  

 How do you know I m mad   said Alice 

 You must be   said the Cat   or you wouldn t have come here  

Alice didn t think that proved it at all  however  she went on  And how
do you know that you re mad  

 To begin with   said the Cat   a dog s not mad  You grant that  

 I suppose so   said Alice 

 Well  then   the Cat went on   you see  a dog growls when it s angry 
and wags its tail when it s pleased  Now I growl when I m pleased  and
wag my tail when I m angry  Therefore I m mad  

 I call it purring  not growling   said Alice 

 Call it what you like   said the Cat   Do you play croquet with the
Queen to day  

 I should like it very much   said Alice   but I haven t been invited
yet  

 You ll see me there   said the Cat  and vanished 

Alice was not much surprised at this  she was getting so used to queer
things happening  While she was looking at the place where it had been 
it suddenly appeared again 

 By the bye  what became of the baby   said the Cat   I d nearly
forgotten to ask  

 It turned into a pig   Alice quietly said  just as if it had come back
in a natural way 

 I thought it would   said the Cat  and vanished again 

Alice waited a little  half expecting to see it again  but it did not
appear  and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in
which the March Hare was said to live   I ve seen hatters before   she
said to herself   the March Hare will be much the most interesting  and
perhaps as this is May it won t be raving mad  at least not so mad as
it was in March   As she said this  she looked up  and there was the Cat
again  sitting on a branch of a tree 

 Did you say pig  or fig   said the Cat 

 I said pig   replied Alice   and I wish you wouldn t keep appearing and
vanishing so suddenly  you make one quite giddy  

 All right   said the Cat  and this time it vanished quite slowly 
beginning with the end of the tail  and ending with the grin  which
remained some time after the rest of it had gone 

 Well  I ve often seen a cat without a grin   thought Alice   but a grin
without a cat  It s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life  

She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house
of the March Hare  she thought it must be the right house  because the
chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur  It
was so large a house  that she did not like to go nearer till she had
nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom  and raised herself to
about two feet high  even then she walked up towards it rather timidly 
saying to herself  Suppose it should be raving mad after all  I almost
wish I d gone to see the Hatter instead  




CHAPTER VII  A Mad Tea Party

There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house  and the
March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it  a Dormouse was sitting
between them  fast asleep  and the other two were using it as a
cushion  resting their elbows on it  and talking over its head   Very
uncomfortable for the Dormouse   thought Alice   only  as it s asleep  I
suppose it doesn t mind  

The table was a large one  but the three were all crowded together at
one corner of it   No room  No room   they cried out when they saw Alice
coming   There s PLENTY of room   said Alice indignantly  and she sat
down in a large arm chair at one end of the table 

 Have some wine   the March Hare said in an encouraging tone 

Alice looked all round the table  but there was nothing on it but tea 
 I don t see any wine   she remarked 

 There isn t any   said the March Hare 

 Then it wasn t very civil of you to offer it   said Alice angrily 

 It wasn t very civil of you to sit down without being invited   said
the March Hare 

 I didn t know it was YOUR table   said Alice   it s laid for a great
many more than three  

 Your hair wants cutting   said the Hatter  He had been looking at Alice
for some time with great curiosity  and this was his first speech 

 You should learn not to make personal remarks   Alice said with some
severity   it s very rude  

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this  but all he SAID
was   Why is a raven like a writing desk  

 Come  we shall have some fun now   thought Alice   I m glad they ve
begun asking riddles   I believe I can guess that   she added aloud 

 Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it   said the
March Hare 

 Exactly so   said Alice 

 Then you should say what you mean   the March Hare went on 

 I do   Alice hastily replied   at least  at least I mean what I
say  that s the same thing  you know  

 Not the same thing a bit   said the Hatter   You might just as well say
that  I see what I eat  is the same thing as  I eat what I see   

 You might just as well say   added the March Hare   that  I like what I
get  is the same thing as  I get what I like   

 You might just as well say   added the Dormouse  who seemed to be
talking in his sleep   that  I breathe when I sleep  is the same thing
as  I sleep when I breathe   

 It IS the same thing with you   said the Hatter  and here the
conversation dropped  and the party sat silent for a minute  while Alice
thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing desks 
which wasn t much 

The Hatter was the first to break the silence   What day of the month
is it   he said  turning to Alice  he had taken his watch out of his
pocket  and was looking at it uneasily  shaking it every now and then 
and holding it to his ear 

Alice considered a little  and then said  The fourth  

 Two days wrong   sighed the Hatter   I told you butter wouldn t suit
the works   he added looking angrily at the March Hare 

 It was the BEST butter   the March Hare meekly replied 

 Yes  but some crumbs must have got in as well   the Hatter grumbled 
 you shouldn t have put it in with the bread knife  

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily  then he dipped
it into his cup of tea  and looked at it again  but he could think of
nothing better to say than his first remark   It was the BEST butter 
you know  

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity   What a
funny watch   she remarked   It tells the day of the month  and doesn t
tell what o clock it is  

 Why should it   muttered the Hatter   Does YOUR watch tell you what
year it is  

 Of course not   Alice replied very readily   but that s because it
stays the same year for such a long time together  

 Which is just the case with MINE   said the Hatter 

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled  The Hatter s remark seemed to have no
sort of meaning in it  and yet it was certainly English   I don t quite
understand you   she said  as politely as she could 

 The Dormouse is asleep again   said the Hatter  and he poured a little
hot tea upon its nose 

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently  and said  without opening its
eyes   Of course  of course  just what I was going to remark myself  

 Have you guessed the riddle yet   the Hatter said  turning to Alice
again 

 No  I give it up   Alice replied   what s the answer  

 I haven t the slightest idea   said the Hatter 

 Nor I   said the March Hare 

Alice sighed wearily   I think you might do something better with the
time   she said   than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers  

 If you knew Time as well as I do   said the Hatter   you wouldn t talk
about wasting IT  It s HIM  

 I don t know what you mean   said Alice 

 Of course you don t   the Hatter said  tossing his head contemptuously 
 I dare say you never even spoke to Time  

 Perhaps not   Alice cautiously replied   but I know I have to beat time
when I learn music  

 Ah  that accounts for it   said the Hatter   He won t stand beating 
Now  if you only kept on good terms with him  he d do almost anything
you liked with the clock  For instance  suppose it were nine o clock in
the morning  just time to begin lessons  you d only have to whisper a
hint to Time  and round goes the clock in a twinkling  Half past one 
time for dinner  

  I only wish it was   the March Hare said to itself in a whisper  

 That would be grand  certainly   said Alice thoughtfully   but then  I
shouldn t be hungry for it  you know  

 Not at first  perhaps   said the Hatter   but you could keep it to
half past one as long as you liked  

 Is that the way YOU manage   Alice asked 

The Hatter shook his head mournfully   Not I   he replied   We
quarrelled last March  just before HE went mad  you know     pointing
with his tea spoon at the March Hare      it was at the great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts  and I had to sing

      Twinkle  twinkle  little bat 
     How I wonder what you re at  

You know the song  perhaps  

 I ve heard something like it   said Alice 

 It goes on  you know   the Hatter continued   in this way   

      Up above the world you fly 
     Like a tea tray in the sky 
         Twinkle  twinkle    

Here the Dormouse shook itself  and began singing in its sleep  Twinkle 
twinkle  twinkle  twinkle    and went on so long that they had to pinch
it to make it stop 

 Well  I d hardly finished the first verse   said the Hatter   when the
Queen jumped up and bawled out   He s murdering the time  Off with his
head   

 How dreadfully savage   exclaimed Alice 

 And ever since that   the Hatter went on in a mournful tone   he won t
do a thing I ask  It s always six o clock now  

A bright idea came into Alice s head   Is that the reason so many
tea things are put out here   she asked 

 Yes  that s it   said the Hatter with a sigh   it s always tea time 
and we ve no time to wash the things between whiles  

 Then you keep moving round  I suppose   said Alice 

 Exactly so   said the Hatter   as the things get used up  

 But what happens when you come to the beginning again   Alice ventured
to ask 

 Suppose we change the subject   the March Hare interrupted  yawning 
 I m getting tired of this  I vote the young lady tells us a story  

 I m afraid I don t know one   said Alice  rather alarmed at the
proposal 

 Then the Dormouse shall   they both cried   Wake up  Dormouse   And
they pinched it on both sides at once 

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes   I wasn t asleep   he said in a
hoarse  feeble voice   I heard every word you fellows were saying  

 Tell us a story   said the March Hare 

 Yes  please do   pleaded Alice 

 And be quick about it   added the Hatter   or you ll be asleep again
before it s done  

 Once upon a time there were three little sisters   the Dormouse began
in a great hurry   and their names were Elsie  Lacie  and Tillie  and
they lived at the bottom of a well   

 What did they live on   said Alice  who always took a great interest in
questions of eating and drinking 

 They lived on treacle   said the Dormouse  after thinking a minute or
two 

 They couldn t have done that  you know   Alice gently remarked   they d
have been ill  

 So they were   said the Dormouse   VERY ill  

Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of
living would be like  but it puzzled her too much  so she went on   But
why did they live at the bottom of a well  

 Take some more tea   the March Hare said to Alice  very earnestly 

 I ve had nothing yet   Alice replied in an offended tone   so I can t
take more  

 You mean you can t take LESS   said the Hatter   it s very easy to take
MORE than nothing  

 Nobody asked YOUR opinion   said Alice 

 Who s making personal remarks now   the Hatter asked triumphantly 

Alice did not quite know what to say to this  so she helped herself
to some tea and bread and butter  and then turned to the Dormouse  and
repeated her question   Why did they live at the bottom of a well  

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it  and then
said   It was a treacle well  

 There s no such thing   Alice was beginning very angrily  but the
Hatter and the March Hare went  Sh  sh   and the Dormouse sulkily
remarked   If you can t be civil  you d better finish the story for
yourself  

 No  please go on   Alice said very humbly   I won t interrupt again  I
dare say there may be ONE  

 One  indeed   said the Dormouse indignantly  However  he consented to
go on   And so these three little sisters  they were learning to draw 
you know   

 What did they draw   said Alice  quite forgetting her promise 

 Treacle   said the Dormouse  without considering at all this time 

 I want a clean cup   interrupted the Hatter   let s all move one place
on  

He moved on as he spoke  and the Dormouse followed him  the March Hare
moved into the Dormouse s place  and Alice rather unwillingly took
the place of the March Hare  The Hatter was the only one who got any
advantage from the change  and Alice was a good deal worse off than
before  as the March Hare had just upset the milk jug into his plate 

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again  so she began very
cautiously   But I don t understand  Where did they draw the treacle
from  

 You can draw water out of a water well   said the Hatter   so I should
think you could draw treacle out of a treacle well  eh  stupid  

 But they were IN the well   Alice said to the Dormouse  not choosing to
notice this last remark 

 Of course they were   said the Dormouse     well in  

This answer so confused poor Alice  that she let the Dormouse go on for
some time without interrupting it 

 They were learning to draw   the Dormouse went on  yawning and rubbing
its eyes  for it was getting very sleepy   and they drew all manner of
things  everything that begins with an M   

 Why with an M   said Alice 

 Why not   said the March Hare 

Alice was silent 

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time  and was going off into
a doze  but  on being pinched by the Hatter  it woke up again with
a little shriek  and went on     that begins with an M  such as
mouse traps  and the moon  and memory  and muchness  you know you say
things are  much of a muchness   did you ever see such a thing as a
drawing of a muchness  

 Really  now you ask me   said Alice  very much confused   I don t
think   

 Then you shouldn t talk   said the Hatter 

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear  she got up in
great disgust  and walked off  the Dormouse fell asleep instantly  and
neither of the others took the least notice of her going  though she
looked back once or twice  half hoping that they would call after her 
the last time she saw them  they were trying to put the Dormouse into
the teapot 

 At any rate I ll never go THERE again   said Alice as she picked her
way through the wood   It s the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all
my life  

Just as she said this  she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it   That s very curious   she thought   But
everything s curious today  I think I may as well go in at once   And in
she went 

Once more she found herself in the long hall  and close to the little
glass table   Now  I ll manage better this time   she said to herself 
and began by taking the little golden key  and unlocking the door that
led into the garden  Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom  she
had kept a piece of it in her pocket  till she was about a foot high 
then she walked down the little passage  and THEN  she found herself at
last in the beautiful garden  among the bright flower beds and the cool
fountains 




CHAPTER VIII  The Queen s Croquet Ground

A large rose tree stood near the entrance of the garden  the roses
growing on it were white  but there were three gardeners at it  busily
painting them red  Alice thought this a very curious thing  and she went
nearer to watch them  and just as she came up to them she heard one of
them say   Look out now  Five  Don t go splashing paint over me like
that  

 I couldn t help it   said Five  in a sulky tone   Seven jogged my
elbow  

On which Seven looked up and said   That s right  Five  Always lay the
blame on others  

 YOU D better not talk   said Five   I heard the Queen say only
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded  

 What for   said the one who had spoken first 

 That s none of YOUR business  Two   said Seven 

 Yes  it IS his business   said Five   and I ll tell him  it was for
bringing the cook tulip roots instead of onions  

Seven flung down his brush  and had just begun  Well  of all the unjust
things    when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice  as she stood watching
them  and he checked himself suddenly  the others looked round also  and
all of them bowed low 

 Would you tell me   said Alice  a little timidly   why you are painting
those roses  

Five and Seven said nothing  but looked at Two  Two began in a low
voice   Why the fact is  you see  Miss  this here ought to have been a
RED rose tree  and we put a white one in by mistake  and if the Queen
was to find it out  we should all have our heads cut off  you know 
So you see  Miss  we re doing our best  afore she comes  to    At this
moment Five  who had been anxiously looking across the garden  called
out  The Queen  The Queen   and the three gardeners instantly threw
themselves flat upon their faces  There was a sound of many footsteps 
and Alice looked round  eager to see the Queen 

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs  these were all shaped like
the three gardeners  oblong and flat  with their hands and feet at the
corners  next the ten courtiers  these were ornamented all over with
diamonds  and walked two and two  as the soldiers did  After these came
the royal children  there were ten of them  and the little dears came
jumping merrily along hand in hand  in couples  they were all ornamented
with hearts  Next came the guests  mostly Kings and Queens  and among
them Alice recognised the White Rabbit  it was talking in a hurried
nervous manner  smiling at everything that was said  and went by without
noticing her  Then followed the Knave of Hearts  carrying the King s
crown on a crimson velvet cushion  and  last of all this grand
procession  came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS 

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face
like the three gardeners  but she could not remember ever having heard
of such a rule at processions   and besides  what would be the use of
a procession   thought she   if people had all to lie down upon their
faces  so that they couldn t see it   So she stood still where she was 
and waited 

When the procession came opposite to Alice  they all stopped and looked
at her  and the Queen said severely  Who is this   She said it to the
Knave of Hearts  who only bowed and smiled in reply 

 Idiot   said the Queen  tossing her head impatiently  and  turning to
Alice  she went on   What s your name  child  

 My name is Alice  so please your Majesty   said Alice very politely 
but she added  to herself   Why  they re only a pack of cards  after
all  I needn t be afraid of them  

 And who are THESE   said the Queen  pointing to the three gardeners who
were lying round the rosetree  for  you see  as they were lying on their
faces  and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the
pack  she could not tell whether they were gardeners  or soldiers  or
courtiers  or three of her own children 

 How should I know   said Alice  surprised at her own courage   It s no
business of MINE  

The Queen turned crimson with fury  and  after glaring at her for a
moment like a wild beast  screamed  Off with her head  Off   

 Nonsense   said Alice  very loudly and decidedly  and the Queen was
silent 

The King laid his hand upon her arm  and timidly said  Consider  my
dear  she is only a child  

The Queen turned angrily away from him  and said to the Knave  Turn them
over  

The Knave did so  very carefully  with one foot 

 Get up   said the Queen  in a shrill  loud voice  and the three
gardeners instantly jumped up  and began bowing to the King  the Queen 
the royal children  and everybody else 

 Leave off that   screamed the Queen   You make me giddy   And then 
turning to the rose tree  she went on   What HAVE you been doing here  

 May it please your Majesty   said Two  in a very humble tone  going
down on one knee as he spoke   we were trying   

 I see   said the Queen  who had meanwhile been examining the roses 
 Off with their heads   and the procession moved on  three of the
soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners  who ran
to Alice for protection 

 You shan t be beheaded   said Alice  and she put them into a large
flower pot that stood near  The three soldiers wandered about for a
minute or two  looking for them  and then quietly marched off after the
others 

 Are their heads off   shouted the Queen 

 Their heads are gone  if it please your Majesty   the soldiers shouted
in reply 

 That s right   shouted the Queen   Can you play croquet  

The soldiers were silent  and looked at Alice  as the question was
evidently meant for her 

 Yes   shouted Alice 

 Come on  then   roared the Queen  and Alice joined the procession 
wondering very much what would happen next 

 It s  it s a very fine day   said a timid voice at her side  She was
walking by the White Rabbit  who was peeping anxiously into her face 

 Very   said Alice     where s the Duchess  

 Hush  Hush   said the Rabbit in a low  hurried tone  He looked
anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke  and then raised himself upon
tiptoe  put his mouth close to her ear  and whispered  She s under
sentence of execution  

 What for   said Alice 

 Did you say  What a pity     the Rabbit asked 

 No  I didn t   said Alice   I don t think it s at all a pity  I said
 What for   

 She boxed the Queen s ears    the Rabbit began  Alice gave a little
scream of laughter   Oh  hush   the Rabbit whispered in a frightened
tone   The Queen will hear you  You see  she came rather late  and the
Queen said   

 Get to your places   shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder  and
people began running about in all directions  tumbling up against each
other  however  they got settled down in a minute or two  and the game
began  Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet ground in
her life  it was all ridges and furrows  the balls were live hedgehogs 
the mallets live flamingoes  and the soldiers had to double themselves
up and to stand on their hands and feet  to make the arches 

The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo 
she succeeded in getting its body tucked away  comfortably enough  under
her arm  with its legs hanging down  but generally  just as she had got
its neck nicely straightened out  and was going to give the hedgehog a
blow with its head  it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face 
with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out
laughing  and when she had got its head down  and was going to begin
again  it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled
itself  and was in the act of crawling away  besides all this  there was
generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the
hedgehog to  and  as the doubled up soldiers were always getting up
and walking off to other parts of the ground  Alice soon came to the
conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed 

The players all played at once without waiting for turns  quarrelling
all the while  and fighting for the hedgehogs  and in a very short
time the Queen was in a furious passion  and went stamping about  and
shouting  Off with his head   or  Off with her head   about once in a
minute 

Alice began to feel very uneasy  to be sure  she had not as yet had any
dispute with the Queen  but she knew that it might happen any minute 
 and then   thought she   what would become of me  They re dreadfully
fond of beheading people here  the great wonder is  that there s any one
left alive  

She was looking about for some way of escape  and wondering whether she
could get away without being seen  when she noticed a curious appearance
in the air  it puzzled her very much at first  but  after watching it
a minute or two  she made it out to be a grin  and she said to herself
 It s the Cheshire Cat  now I shall have somebody to talk to  

 How are you getting on   said the Cat  as soon as there was mouth
enough for it to speak with 

Alice waited till the eyes appeared  and then nodded   It s no use
speaking to it   she thought   till its ears have come  or at least one
of them   In another minute the whole head appeared  and then Alice put
down her flamingo  and began an account of the game  feeling very glad
she had someone to listen to her  The Cat seemed to think that there was
enough of it now in sight  and no more of it appeared 

 I don t think they play at all fairly   Alice began  in rather a
complaining tone   and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can t hear
oneself speak  and they don t seem to have any rules in particular 
at least  if there are  nobody attends to them  and you ve no idea how
confusing it is all the things being alive  for instance  there s the
arch I ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the
ground  and I should have croqueted the Queen s hedgehog just now  only
it ran away when it saw mine coming  

 How do you like the Queen   said the Cat in a low voice 

 Not at all   said Alice   she s so extremely    Just then she noticed
that the Queen was close behind her  listening  so she went on 
   likely to win  that it s hardly worth while finishing the game  

The Queen smiled and passed on 

 Who ARE you talking to   said the King  going up to Alice  and looking
at the Cat s head with great curiosity 

 It s a friend of mine  a Cheshire Cat   said Alice   allow me to
introduce it  

 I don t like the look of it at all   said the King   however  it may
kiss my hand if it likes  

 I d rather not   the Cat remarked 

 Don t be impertinent   said the King   and don t look at me like that  
He got behind Alice as he spoke 

 A cat may look at a king   said Alice   I ve read that in some book 
but I don t remember where  

 Well  it must be removed   said the King very decidedly  and he called
the Queen  who was passing at the moment   My dear  I wish you would
have this cat removed  

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties  great or small 
 Off with his head   she said  without even looking round 

 I ll fetch the executioner myself   said the King eagerly  and he
hurried off 

Alice thought she might as well go back  and see how the game was going
on  as she heard the Queen s voice in the distance  screaming with
passion  She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be
executed for having missed their turns  and she did not like the look
of things at all  as the game was in such confusion that she never knew
whether it was her turn or not  So she went in search of her hedgehog 

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog  which seemed
to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the
other  the only difficulty was  that her flamingo was gone across to the
other side of the garden  where Alice could see it trying in a helpless
sort of way to fly up into a tree 

By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back  the fight
was over  and both the hedgehogs were out of sight   but it doesn t
matter much   thought Alice   as all the arches are gone from this side
of the ground   So she tucked it away under her arm  that it might not
escape again  and went back for a little more conversation with her
friend 

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat  she was surprised to find quite a
large crowd collected round it  there was a dispute going on between
the executioner  the King  and the Queen  who were all talking at once 
while all the rest were quite silent  and looked very uncomfortable 

The moment Alice appeared  she was appealed to by all three to settle
the question  and they repeated their arguments to her  though  as they
all spoke at once  she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly
what they said 

The executioner s argument was  that you couldn t cut off a head unless
there was a body to cut it off from  that he had never had to do such a
thing before  and he wasn t going to begin at HIS time of life 

The King s argument was  that anything that had a head could be
beheaded  and that you weren t to talk nonsense 

The Queen s argument was  that if something wasn t done about it in less
than no time she d have everybody executed  all round   It was this last
remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious  

Alice could think of nothing else to say but  It belongs to the Duchess 
you d better ask HER about it  

 She s in prison   the Queen said to the executioner   fetch her here  
And the executioner went off like an arrow 

 The Cat s head began fading away the moment he was gone  and 
by the time he had come back with the Duchess  it had entirely
disappeared  so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down
looking for it  while the rest of the party went back to the game 




CHAPTER IX  The Mock Turtle s Story

 You can t think how glad I am to see you again  you dear old thing  
said the Duchess  as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice s  and
they walked off together 

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper  and thought
to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so
savage when they met in the kitchen 

 When I M a Duchess   she said to herself   not in a very hopeful tone
though    I won t have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL  Soup does very
well without  Maybe it s always pepper that makes people hot tempered  
she went on  very much pleased at having found out a new kind of
rule   and vinegar that makes them sour  and camomile that makes
them bitter  and  and barley sugar and such things that make children
sweet tempered  I only wish people knew that  then they wouldn t be so
stingy about it  you know   

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time  and was a little
startled when she heard her voice close to her ear   You re thinking
about something  my dear  and that makes you forget to talk  I can t
tell you just now what the moral of that is  but I shall remember it in
a bit  

 Perhaps it hasn t one   Alice ventured to remark 

 Tut  tut  child   said the Duchess   Everything s got a moral  if only
you can find it   And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice s side as
she spoke 

Alice did not much like keeping so close to her  first  because the
Duchess was VERY ugly  and secondly  because she was exactly the
right height to rest her chin upon Alice s shoulder  and it was an
uncomfortably sharp chin  However  she did not like to be rude  so she
bore it as well as she could 

 The game s going on rather better now   she said  by way of keeping up
the conversation a little 

  Tis so   said the Duchess   and the moral of that is   Oh   tis love 
 tis love  that makes the world go round   

 Somebody said   Alice whispered   that it s done by everybody minding
their own business  

 Ah  well  It means much the same thing   said the Duchess  digging her
sharp little chin into Alice s shoulder as she added   and the moral
of THAT is   Take care of the sense  and the sounds will take care of
themselves   

 How fond she is of finding morals in things   Alice thought to herself 

 I dare say you re wondering why I don t put my arm round your waist  
the Duchess said after a pause   the reason is  that I m doubtful about
the temper of your flamingo  Shall I try the experiment  

 HE might bite   Alice cautiously replied  not feeling at all anxious to
have the experiment tried 

 Very true   said the Duchess   flamingoes and mustard both bite  And
the moral of that is   Birds of a feather flock together   

 Only mustard isn t a bird   Alice remarked 

 Right  as usual   said the Duchess   what a clear way you have of
putting things  

 It s a mineral  I THINK   said Alice 

 Of course it is   said the Duchess  who seemed ready to agree to
everything that Alice said   there s a large mustard mine near here  And
the moral of that is   The more there is of mine  the less there is of
yours   

 Oh  I know   exclaimed Alice  who had not attended to this last remark 
 it s a vegetable  It doesn t look like one  but it is  

 I quite agree with you   said the Duchess   and the moral of that
is   Be what you would seem to be   or if you d like it put more
simply   Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might
appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise
than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise   

 I think I should understand that better   Alice said very politely   if
I had it written down  but I can t quite follow it as you say it  

 That s nothing to what I could say if I chose   the Duchess replied  in
a pleased tone 

 Pray don t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that   said
Alice 

 Oh  don t talk about trouble   said the Duchess   I make you a present
of everything I ve said as yet  

 A cheap sort of present   thought Alice   I m glad they don t give
birthday presents like that   But she did not venture to say it out
loud 

 Thinking again   the Duchess asked  with another dig of her sharp
little chin 

 I ve a right to think   said Alice sharply  for she was beginning to
feel a little worried 

 Just about as much right   said the Duchess   as pigs have to fly  and
the m   

But here  to Alice s great surprise  the Duchess s voice died away  even
in the middle of her favourite word  moral   and the arm that was linked
into hers began to tremble  Alice looked up  and there stood the Queen
in front of them  with her arms folded  frowning like a thunderstorm 

 A fine day  your Majesty   the Duchess began in a low  weak voice 

 Now  I give you fair warning   shouted the Queen  stamping on the
ground as she spoke   either you or your head must be off  and that in
about half no time  Take your choice  

The Duchess took her choice  and was gone in a moment 

 Let s go on with the game   the Queen said to Alice  and Alice was
too much frightened to say a word  but slowly followed her back to the
croquet ground 

The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen s absence  and were
resting in the shade  however  the moment they saw her  they hurried
back to the game  the Queen merely remarking that a moment s delay would
cost them their lives 

All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with
the other players  and shouting  Off with his head   or  Off with her
head   Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers 
who of course had to leave off being arches to do this  so that by
the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left  and all the
players  except the King  the Queen  and Alice  were in custody and
under sentence of execution 

Then the Queen left off  quite out of breath  and said to Alice   Have
you seen the Mock Turtle yet  

 No   said Alice   I don t even know what a Mock Turtle is  

 It s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from   said the Queen 

 I never saw one  or heard of one   said Alice 

 Come on  then   said the Queen   and he shall tell you his history  

As they walked off together  Alice heard the King say in a low voice 
to the company generally   You are all pardoned    Come  THAT S a good
thing   she said to herself  for she had felt quite unhappy at the
number of executions the Queen had ordered 

They very soon came upon a Gryphon  lying fast asleep in the sun 
 IF you don t know what a Gryphon is  look at the picture    Up  lazy
thing   said the Queen   and take this young lady to see the Mock
Turtle  and to hear his history  I must go back and see after some
executions I have ordered   and she walked off  leaving Alice alone with
the Gryphon  Alice did not quite like the look of the creature  but on
the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go
after that savage Queen  so she waited 

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes  then it watched the Queen till
she was out of sight  then it chuckled   What fun   said the Gryphon 
half to itself  half to Alice 

 What IS the fun   said Alice 

 Why  SHE   said the Gryphon   It s all her fancy  that  they never
executes nobody  you know  Come on  

 Everybody says  come on   here   thought Alice  as she went slowly
after it   I never was so ordered about in all my life  never  

They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance 
sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock  and  as they came
nearer  Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break  She
pitied him deeply   What is his sorrow   she asked the Gryphon  and the
Gryphon answered  very nearly in the same words as before   It s all his
fancy  that  he hasn t got no sorrow  you know  Come on  

So they went up to the Mock Turtle  who looked at them with large eyes
full of tears  but said nothing 

 This here young lady   said the Gryphon   she wants for to know your
history  she do  

 I ll tell it her   said the Mock Turtle in a deep  hollow tone   sit
down  both of you  and don t speak a word till I ve finished  

So they sat down  and nobody spoke for some minutes  Alice thought to
herself   I don t see how he can EVEN finish  if he doesn t begin   But
she waited patiently 

 Once   said the Mock Turtle at last  with a deep sigh   I was a real
Turtle  

These words were followed by a very long silence  broken only by an
occasional exclamation of  Hjckrrh   from the Gryphon  and the constant
heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle  Alice was very nearly getting up and
saying   Thank you  sir  for your interesting story   but she could
not help thinking there MUST be more to come  so she sat still and said
nothing 

 When we were little   the Mock Turtle went on at last  more calmly 
though still sobbing a little now and then   we went to school in the
sea  The master was an old Turtle  we used to call him Tortoise   

 Why did you call him Tortoise  if he wasn t one   Alice asked 

 We called him Tortoise because he taught us   said the Mock Turtle
angrily   really you are very dull  

 You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question  
added the Gryphon  and then they both sat silent and looked at poor
Alice  who felt ready to sink into the earth  At last the Gryphon said
to the Mock Turtle   Drive on  old fellow  Don t be all day about it  
and he went on in these words 

 Yes  we went to school in the sea  though you mayn t believe it   

 I never said I didn t   interrupted Alice 

 You did   said the Mock Turtle 

 Hold your tongue   added the Gryphon  before Alice could speak again 
The Mock Turtle went on 

 We had the best of educations  in fact  we went to school every day   

 I VE been to a day school  too   said Alice   you needn t be so proud
as all that  

 With extras   asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously 

 Yes   said Alice   we learned French and music  

 And washing   said the Mock Turtle 

 Certainly not   said Alice indignantly 

 Ah  then yours wasn t a really good school   said the Mock Turtle in
a tone of great relief   Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill 
 French  music  AND WASHING  extra   

 You couldn t have wanted it much   said Alice   living at the bottom of
the sea  

 I couldn t afford to learn it   said the Mock Turtle with a sigh   I
only took the regular course  

 What was that   inquired Alice 

 Reeling and Writhing  of course  to begin with   the Mock Turtle
replied   and then the different branches of Arithmetic  Ambition 
Distraction  Uglification  and Derision  

 I never heard of  Uglification    Alice ventured to say   What is it  

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise   What  Never heard of
uglifying   it exclaimed   You know what to beautify is  I suppose  

 Yes   said Alice doubtfully   it means  to  make  anything  prettier  

 Well  then   the Gryphon went on   if you don t know what to uglify is 
you ARE a simpleton  

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it  so she
turned to the Mock Turtle  and said  What else had you to learn  

 Well  there was Mystery   the Mock Turtle replied  counting off
the subjects on his flappers     Mystery  ancient and modern  with
Seaography  then Drawling  the Drawling master was an old conger eel 
that used to come once a week  HE taught us Drawling  Stretching  and
Fainting in Coils  

 What was THAT like   said Alice 

 Well  I can t show it you myself   the Mock Turtle said   I m too
stiff  And the Gryphon never learnt it  

 Hadn t time   said the Gryphon   I went to the Classics master  though 
He was an old crab  HE was  

 I never went to him   the Mock Turtle said with a sigh   he taught
Laughing and Grief  they used to say  

 So he did  so he did   said the Gryphon  sighing in his turn  and both
creatures hid their faces in their paws 

 And how many hours a day did you do lessons   said Alice  in a hurry to
change the subject 

 Ten hours the first day   said the Mock Turtle   nine the next  and so
on  

 What a curious plan   exclaimed Alice 

 That s the reason they re called lessons   the Gryphon remarked 
 because they lessen from day to day  

This was quite a new idea to Alice  and she thought it over a little
before she made her next remark   Then the eleventh day must have been a
holiday  

 Of course it was   said the Mock Turtle 

 And how did you manage on the twelfth   Alice went on eagerly 

 That s enough about lessons   the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided
tone   tell her something about the games now  




CHAPTER X  The Lobster Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply  and drew the back of one flapper across
his eyes  He looked at Alice  and tried to speak  but for a minute or
two sobs choked his voice   Same as if he had a bone in his throat  
said the Gryphon  and it set to work shaking him and punching him in
the back  At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice  and  with tears
running down his cheeks  he went on again   

 You may not have lived much under the sea      I haven t   said
Alice    and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster   
 Alice began to say  I once tasted    but checked herself hastily  and
said  No  never      so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a
Lobster Quadrille is  

 No  indeed   said Alice   What sort of a dance is it  

 Why   said the Gryphon   you first form into a line along the
sea shore   

 Two lines   cried the Mock Turtle   Seals  turtles  salmon  and so on 
then  when you ve cleared all the jelly fish out of the way   

 THAT generally takes some time   interrupted the Gryphon 

   you advance twice   

 Each with a lobster as a partner   cried the Gryphon 

 Of course   the Mock Turtle said   advance twice  set to partners   

   change lobsters  and retire in same order   continued the Gryphon 

 Then  you know   the Mock Turtle went on   you throw the   

 The lobsters   shouted the Gryphon  with a bound into the air 

   as far out to sea as you can   

 Swim after them   screamed the Gryphon 

 Turn a somersault in the sea   cried the Mock Turtle  capering wildly
about 

 Change lobsters again   yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice 

 Back to land again  and that s all the first figure   said the Mock
Turtle  suddenly dropping his voice  and the two creatures  who had been
jumping about like mad things all this time  sat down again very sadly
and quietly  and looked at Alice 

 It must be a very pretty dance   said Alice timidly 

 Would you like to see a little of it   said the Mock Turtle 

 Very much indeed   said Alice 

 Come  let s try the first figure   said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon 
 We can do without lobsters  you know  Which shall sing  

 Oh  YOU sing   said the Gryphon   I ve forgotten the words  

So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice  every now and
then treading on her toes when they passed too close  and waving their
forepaws to mark the time  while the Mock Turtle sang this  very slowly
and sadly   

   Will you walk a little faster   said a whiting to a snail 
  There s a porpoise close behind us  and he s treading on my tail 

 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance 
 They are waiting on the shingle  will you come and join the dance 

 Will you  won t you  will you  won t you  will you join the dance 
 Will you  won t you  will you  won t you  won t you join the dance 

  You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
 When they take us up and throw us  with the lobsters  out to sea  
 But the snail replied  Too far  too far   and gave a look askance  
 Said he thanked the whiting kindly  but he would not join the dance 

 Would not  could not  would not  could not  would not join the dance 
 Would not  could not  would not  could not  could not join the dance 

   What matters it how far we go   his scaly friend replied 
  There is another shore  you know  upon the other side 
 The further off from England the nearer is to France  
 Then turn not pale  beloved snail  but come and join the dance 

 Will you  won t you  will you  won t you  will you join the dance 
 Will you  won t you  will you  won t you  won t you join the dance   

 Thank you  it s a very interesting dance to watch   said Alice  feeling
very glad that it was over at last   and I do so like that curious song
about the whiting  

 Oh  as to the whiting   said the Mock Turtle   they  you ve seen them 
of course  

 Yes   said Alice   I ve often seen them at dinn    she checked herself
hastily 

 I don t know where Dinn may be   said the Mock Turtle   but if you ve
seen them so often  of course you know what they re like  

 I believe so   Alice replied thoughtfully   They have their tails in
their mouths  and they re all over crumbs  

 You re wrong about the crumbs   said the Mock Turtle   crumbs would all
wash off in the sea  But they HAVE their tails in their mouths  and the
reason is    here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes    Tell her
about the reason and all that   he said to the Gryphon 

 The reason is   said the Gryphon   that they WOULD go with the lobsters
to the dance  So they got thrown out to sea  So they had to fall a long
way  So they got their tails fast in their mouths  So they couldn t get
them out again  That s all  

 Thank you   said Alice   it s very interesting  I never knew so much
about a whiting before  

 I can tell you more than that  if you like   said the Gryphon   Do you
know why it s called a whiting  

 I never thought about it   said Alice   Why  

 IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES   the Gryphon replied very solemnly 

Alice was thoroughly puzzled   Does the boots and shoes   she repeated
in a wondering tone 

 Why  what are YOUR shoes done with   said the Gryphon   I mean  what
makes them so shiny  

Alice looked down at them  and considered a little before she gave her
answer   They re done with blacking  I believe  

 Boots and shoes under the sea   the Gryphon went on in a deep voice 
 are done with a whiting  Now you know  

 And what are they made of   Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity 

 Soles and eels  of course   the Gryphon replied rather impatiently 
 any shrimp could have told you that  

 If I d been the whiting   said Alice  whose thoughts were still running
on the song   I d have said to the porpoise   Keep back  please  we
don t want YOU with us   

 They were obliged to have him with them   the Mock Turtle said   no
wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise  

 Wouldn t it really   said Alice in a tone of great surprise 

 Of course not   said the Mock Turtle   why  if a fish came to ME  and
told me he was going a journey  I should say  With what porpoise   

 Don t you mean  purpose    said Alice 

 I mean what I say   the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone  And
the Gryphon added  Come  let s hear some of YOUR adventures  

 I could tell you my adventures  beginning from this morning   said
Alice a little timidly   but it s no use going back to yesterday 
because I was a different person then  

 Explain all that   said the Mock Turtle 

 No  no  The adventures first   said the Gryphon in an impatient tone 
 explanations take such a dreadful time  

So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first
saw the White Rabbit  She was a little nervous about it just at first 
the two creatures got so close to her  one on each side  and opened
their eyes and mouths so VERY wide  but she gained courage as she went
on  Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about
her repeating  YOU ARE OLD  FATHER WILLIAM   to the Caterpillar  and the
words all coming different  and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath 
and said  That s very curious  

 It s all about as curious as it can be   said the Gryphon 

 It all came different   the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully   I
should like to hear her try and repeat something now  Tell her to
begin   He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of
authority over Alice 

 Stand up and repeat   TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD    said the
Gryphon 

 How the creatures order one about  and make one repeat lessons  
thought Alice   I might as well be at school at once   However  she
got up  and began to repeat it  but her head was so full of the Lobster
Quadrille  that she hardly knew what she was saying  and the words came
very queer indeed   

    Tis the voice of the Lobster  I heard him declare 
   You have baked me too brown  I must sugar my hair  
  As a duck with its eyelids  so he with his nose
  Trims his belt and his buttons  and turns out his toes  

        later editions continued as follows
  When the sands are all dry  he is gay as a lark 
  And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark 
  But  when the tide rises and sharks are around 
  His voice has a timid and tremulous sound  

 That s different from what I used to say when I was a child   said the
Gryphon 

 Well  I never heard it before   said the Mock Turtle   but it sounds
uncommon nonsense  

Alice said nothing  she had sat down with her face in her hands 
wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again 

 I should like to have it explained   said the Mock Turtle 

 She can t explain it   said the Gryphon hastily   Go on with the next
verse  

 But about his toes   the Mock Turtle persisted   How COULD he turn them
out with his nose  you know  

 It s the first position in dancing   Alice said  but was dreadfully
puzzled by the whole thing  and longed to change the subject 

 Go on with the next verse   the Gryphon repeated impatiently   it
begins  I passed by his garden   

Alice did not dare to disobey  though she felt sure it would all come
wrong  and she went on in a trembling voice   

   I passed by his garden  and marked  with one eye 
  How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie   

     later editions continued as follows
  The Panther took pie crust  and gravy  and meat 
  While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat 
  When the pie was all finished  the Owl  as a boon 
  Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon 
  While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl 
  And concluded the banquet   

 What IS the use of repeating all that stuff   the Mock Turtle
interrupted   if you don t explain it as you go on  It s by far the most
confusing thing I ever heard  

 Yes  I think you d better leave off   said the Gryphon  and Alice was
only too glad to do so 

 Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille   the Gryphon went
on   Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song  

 Oh  a song  please  if the Mock Turtle would be so kind   Alice
replied  so eagerly that the Gryphon said  in a rather offended tone 
 Hm  No accounting for tastes  Sing her  Turtle Soup   will you  old
fellow  

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply  and began  in a voice sometimes choked
with sobs  to sing this   

    Beautiful Soup  so rich and green 
   Waiting in a hot tureen 
   Who for such dainties would not stoop 
   Soup of the evening  beautiful Soup 
   Soup of the evening  beautiful Soup 
     Beau  ootiful Soo  oop 
     Beau  ootiful Soo  oop 
   Soo  oop of the e  e  evening 
     Beautiful  beautiful Soup 

    Beautiful Soup  Who cares for fish 
   Game  or any other dish 
   Who would not give all else for two
   Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup 
   Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup 
     Beau  ootiful Soo  oop 
     Beau  ootiful Soo  oop 
   Soo  oop of the e  e  evening 
     Beautiful  beauti  FUL SOUP  

 Chorus again   cried the Gryphon  and the Mock Turtle had just begun
to repeat it  when a cry of  The trial s beginning   was heard in the
distance 

 Come on   cried the Gryphon  and  taking Alice by the hand  it hurried
off  without waiting for the end of the song 

 What trial is it   Alice panted as she ran  but the Gryphon only
answered  Come on   and ran the faster  while more and more faintly
came  carried on the breeze that followed them  the melancholy words   

    Soo  oop of the e  e  evening 
     Beautiful  beautiful Soup  




CHAPTER XI  Who Stole the Tarts 

The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they
arrived  with a great crowd assembled about them  all sorts of little
birds and beasts  as well as the whole pack of cards  the Knave was
standing before them  in chains  with a soldier on each side to guard
him  and near the King was the White Rabbit  with a trumpet in one hand 
and a scroll of parchment in the other  In the very middle of the court
was a table  with a large dish of tarts upon it  they looked so good 
that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them   I wish they d get the
trial done   she thought   and hand round the refreshments   But there
seemed to be no chance of this  so she began looking at everything about
her  to pass away the time 

Alice had never been in a court of justice before  but she had read
about them in books  and she was quite pleased to find that she knew
the name of nearly everything there   That s the judge   she said to
herself   because of his great wig  

The judge  by the way  was the King  and as he wore his crown over the
wig   look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it   he did
not look at all comfortable  and it was certainly not becoming 

 And that s the jury box   thought Alice   and those twelve creatures  
 she was obliged to say  creatures   you see  because some of them were
animals  and some were birds    I suppose they are the jurors   She said
this last word two or three times over to herself  being rather proud of
it  for she thought  and rightly too  that very few little girls of her
age knew the meaning of it at all  However   jury men  would have done
just as well 

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates   What are they
doing   Alice whispered to the Gryphon   They can t have anything to put
down yet  before the trial s begun  

 They re putting down their names   the Gryphon whispered in reply   for
fear they should forget them before the end of the trial  

 Stupid things   Alice began in a loud  indignant voice  but she stopped
hastily  for the White Rabbit cried out   Silence in the court   and the
King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round  to make out who
was talking 

Alice could see  as well as if she were looking over their shoulders 
that all the jurors were writing down  stupid things   on their slates 
and she could even make out that one of them didn t know how to spell
 stupid   and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him   A nice
muddle their slates ll be in before the trial s over   thought Alice 

One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked  This of course  Alice
could not stand  and she went round the court and got behind him  and
very soon found an opportunity of taking it away  She did it so quickly
that the poor little juror  it was Bill  the Lizard  could not make out
at all what had become of it  so  after hunting all about for it  he was
obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day  and this was
of very little use  as it left no mark on the slate 

 Herald  read the accusation   said the King 

On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet  and then
unrolled the parchment scroll  and read as follows   

    The Queen of Hearts  she made some tarts 
      All on a summer day 
    The Knave of Hearts  he stole those tarts 
      And took them quite away  

 Consider your verdict   the King said to the jury 

 Not yet  not yet   the Rabbit hastily interrupted   There s a great
deal to come before that  

 Call the first witness   said the King  and the White Rabbit blew three
blasts on the trumpet  and called out   First witness  

The first witness was the Hatter  He came in with a teacup in one
hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other   I beg pardon  your
Majesty   he began   for bringing these in  but I hadn t quite finished
my tea when I was sent for  

 You ought to have finished   said the King   When did you begin  

The Hatter looked at the March Hare  who had followed him into the
court  arm in arm with the Dormouse   Fourteenth of March  I think it
was   he said 

 Fifteenth   said the March Hare 

 Sixteenth   added the Dormouse 

 Write that down   the King said to the jury  and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates  and then added them up  and
reduced the answer to shillings and pence 

 Take off your hat   the King said to the Hatter 

 It isn t mine   said the Hatter 

 Stolen   the King exclaimed  turning to the jury  who instantly made a
memorandum of the fact 

 I keep them to sell   the Hatter added as an explanation   I ve none of
my own  I m a hatter  

Here the Queen put on her spectacles  and began staring at the Hatter 
who turned pale and fidgeted 

 Give your evidence   said the King   and don t be nervous  or I ll have
you executed on the spot  

This did not seem to encourage the witness at all  he kept shifting
from one foot to the other  looking uneasily at the Queen  and in
his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread and butter 

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation  which puzzled
her a good deal until she made out what it was  she was beginning to
grow larger again  and she thought at first she would get up and leave
the court  but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as
long as there was room for her 

 I wish you wouldn t squeeze so   said the Dormouse  who was sitting
next to her   I can hardly breathe  

 I can t help it   said Alice very meekly   I m growing  

 You ve no right to grow here   said the Dormouse 

 Don t talk nonsense   said Alice more boldly   you know you re growing
too  

 Yes  but I grow at a reasonable pace   said the Dormouse   not in that
ridiculous fashion   And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the
other side of the court 

All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter  and 
just as the Dormouse crossed the court  she said to one of the officers
of the court   Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert   on
which the wretched Hatter trembled so  that he shook both his shoes off 

 Give your evidence   the King repeated angrily   or I ll have you
executed  whether you re nervous or not  

 I m a poor man  your Majesty   the Hatter began  in a trembling voice 
   and I hadn t begun my tea  not above a week or so  and what with the
bread and butter getting so thin  and the twinkling of the tea   

 The twinkling of the what   said the King 

 It began with the tea   the Hatter replied 

 Of course twinkling begins with a T   said the King sharply   Do you
take me for a dunce  Go on  

 I m a poor man   the Hatter went on   and most things twinkled after
that  only the March Hare said   

 I didn t   the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry 

 You did   said the Hatter 

 I deny it   said the March Hare 

 He denies it   said the King   leave out that part  

 Well  at any rate  the Dormouse said    the Hatter went on  looking
anxiously round to see if he would deny it too  but the Dormouse denied
nothing  being fast asleep 

 After that   continued the Hatter   I cut some more bread and butter   

 But what did the Dormouse say   one of the jury asked 

 That I can t remember   said the Hatter 

 You MUST remember   remarked the King   or I ll have you executed  

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread and butter  and went
down on one knee   I m a poor man  your Majesty   he began 

 You re a very poor speaker   said the King 

Here one of the guinea pigs cheered  and was immediately suppressed by
the officers of the court   As that is rather a hard word  I will just
explain to you how it was done  They had a large canvas bag  which tied
up at the mouth with strings  into this they slipped the guinea pig 
head first  and then sat upon it  

 I m glad I ve seen that done   thought Alice   I ve so often read
in the newspapers  at the end of trials   There was some attempts
at applause  which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the
court   and I never understood what it meant till now  

 If that s all you know about it  you may stand down   continued the
King 

 I can t go no lower   said the Hatter   I m on the floor  as it is  

 Then you may SIT down   the King replied 

Here the other guinea pig cheered  and was suppressed 

 Come  that finished the guinea pigs   thought Alice   Now we shall get
on better  

 I d rather finish my tea   said the Hatter  with an anxious look at the
Queen  who was reading the list of singers 

 You may go   said the King  and the Hatter hurriedly left the court 
without even waiting to put his shoes on 

   and just take his head off outside   the Queen added to one of the
officers  but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get
to the door 

 Call the next witness   said the King 

The next witness was the Duchess s cook  She carried the pepper box in
her hand  and Alice guessed who it was  even before she got into the
court  by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once 

 Give your evidence   said the King 

 Shan t   said the cook 

The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit  who said in a low voice 
 Your Majesty must cross examine THIS witness  

 Well  if I must  I must   the King said  with a melancholy air  and 
after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight  he said in a deep voice   What are tarts made of  

 Pepper  mostly   said the cook 

 Treacle   said a sleepy voice behind her 

 Collar that Dormouse   the Queen shrieked out   Behead that Dormouse 
Turn that Dormouse out of court  Suppress him  Pinch him  Off with his
whiskers  

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion  getting the Dormouse
turned out  and  by the time they had settled down again  the cook had
disappeared 

 Never mind   said the King  with an air of great relief   Call the next
witness   And he added in an undertone to the Queen   Really  my dear 
YOU must cross examine the next witness  It quite makes my forehead
ache  

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list  feeling very
curious to see what the next witness would be like     for they haven t
got much evidence YET   she said to herself  Imagine her surprise  when
the White Rabbit read out  at the top of his shrill little voice  the
name  Alice  



             CHAPTER XII

           Alice s Evidence


 Here   cried Alice  quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how
large she had grown in the last few minutes  and she jumped up in such
a hurry that she tipped over the jury box with the edge of her skirt 
upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below  and there
they lay sprawling about  reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish
she had accidentally upset the week before 

 Oh  I BEG your pardon   she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay  and
began picking them up again as quickly as she could  for the accident of
the goldfish kept running in her head  and she had a vague sort of idea
that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury box  or
they would die 

 The trial cannot proceed   said the King in a very grave voice   until
all the jurymen are back in their proper places  ALL   he repeated with
great emphasis  looking hard at Alice as he said do 

Alice looked at the jury box  and saw that  in her haste  she had put
the Lizard in head downwards  and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way  being quite unable to move  She soon got
it out again  and put it right   not that it signifies much   she said
to herself   I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial
one way up as the other  

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset  and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them  they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the
accident  all except the Lizard  who seemed too much overcome to do
anything but sit with its mouth open  gazing up into the roof of the
court 

 What do you know about this business   the King said to Alice 

 Nothing   said Alice 

 Nothing WHATEVER   persisted the King 

 Nothing whatever   said Alice 

 That s very important   the King said  turning to the jury  They were
just beginning to write this down on their slates  when the White Rabbit
interrupted   UNimportant  your Majesty means  of course   he said in a
very respectful tone  but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke 

 UNimportant  of course  I meant   the King hastily said  and went on
to himself in an undertone 

 important  unimportant  unimportant  important    as if he were trying
which word sounded best 

Some of the jury wrote it down  important   and some  unimportant  
Alice could see this  as she was near enough to look over their slates 
 but it doesn t matter a bit   she thought to herself 

At this moment the King  who had been for some time busily writing in
his note book  cackled out  Silence   and read out from his book   Rule
Forty two  ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT  

Everybody looked at Alice 

 I M not a mile high   said Alice 

 You are   said the King 

 Nearly two miles high   added the Queen 

 Well  I shan t go  at any rate   said Alice   besides  that s not a
regular rule  you invented it just now  

 It s the oldest rule in the book   said the King 

 Then it ought to be Number One   said Alice 

The King turned pale  and shut his note book hastily   Consider your
verdict   he said to the jury  in a low  trembling voice 

 There s more evidence to come yet  please your Majesty   said the White
Rabbit  jumping up in a great hurry   this paper has just been picked
up  

 What s in it   said the Queen 

 I haven t opened it yet   said the White Rabbit   but it seems to be a
letter  written by the prisoner to  to somebody  

 It must have been that   said the King   unless it was written to
nobody  which isn t usual  you know  

 Who is it directed to   said one of the jurymen 

 It isn t directed at all   said the White Rabbit   in fact  there s
nothing written on the OUTSIDE   He unfolded the paper as he spoke  and
added  It isn t a letter  after all  it s a set of verses  

 Are they in the prisoner s handwriting   asked another of the jurymen 

 No  they re not   said the White Rabbit   and that s the queerest thing
about it    The jury all looked puzzled  

 He must have imitated somebody else s hand   said the King   The jury
all brightened up again  

 Please your Majesty   said the Knave   I didn t write it  and they
can t prove I did  there s no name signed at the end  

 If you didn t sign it   said the King   that only makes the matter
worse  You MUST have meant some mischief  or else you d have signed your
name like an honest man  

There was a general clapping of hands at this  it was the first really
clever thing the King had said that day 

 That PROVES his guilt   said the Queen 

 It proves nothing of the sort   said Alice   Why  you don t even know
what they re about  

 Read them   said the King 

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles   Where shall I begin  please
your Majesty   he asked 

 Begin at the beginning   the King said gravely   and go on till you
come to the end  then stop  

These were the verses the White Rabbit read   

    They told me you had been to her 
    And mentioned me to him 
   She gave me a good character 
    But said I could not swim 

   He sent them word I had not gone
     We know it to be true  
   If she should push the matter on 
    What would become of you 

   I gave her one  they gave him two 
    You gave us three or more 
   They all returned from him to you 
    Though they were mine before 

   If I or she should chance to be
    Involved in this affair 
   He trusts to you to set them free 
    Exactly as we were 

   My notion was that you had been
     Before she had this fit 
   An obstacle that came between
    Him  and ourselves  and it 

   Don t let him know she liked them best 
    For this must ever be
   A secret  kept from all the rest 
    Between yourself and me  

 That s the most important piece of evidence we ve heard yet   said the
King  rubbing his hands   so now let the jury   

 If any one of them can explain it   said Alice   she had grown so large
in the last few minutes that she wasn t a bit afraid of interrupting
him    I ll give him sixpence   I  don t believe there s an atom of
meaning in it  

The jury all wrote down on their slates   SHE doesn t believe there s an
atom of meaning in it   but none of them attempted to explain the paper 

 If there s no meaning in it   said the King   that saves a world of
trouble  you know  as we needn t try to find any  And yet I don t know  
he went on  spreading out the verses on his knee  and looking at them
with one eye   I seem to see some meaning in them  after all     SAID
I COULD NOT SWIM    you can t swim  can you   he added  turning to the
Knave 

The Knave shook his head sadly   Do I look like it   he said   Which he
certainly did NOT  being made entirely of cardboard  

 All right  so far   said the King  and he went on muttering over
the verses to himself    WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE    that s the jury  of
course   I GAVE HER ONE  THEY GAVE HIM TWO    why  that must be what he
did with the tarts  you know   

 But  it goes on  THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU    said Alice 

 Why  there they are   said the King triumphantly  pointing to the tarts
on the table   Nothing can be clearer than THAT  Then again   BEFORE SHE
HAD THIS FIT    you never had fits  my dear  I think   he said to the
Queen 

 Never   said the Queen furiously  throwing an inkstand at the Lizard
as she spoke   The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his
slate with one finger  as he found it made no mark  but he now hastily
began again  using the ink  that was trickling down his face  as long as
it lasted  

 Then the words don t FIT you   said the King  looking round the court
with a smile  There was a dead silence 

 It s a pun   the King added in an offended tone  and everybody laughed 
 Let the jury consider their verdict   the King said  for about the
twentieth time that day 

 No  no   said the Queen   Sentence first  verdict afterwards  

 Stuff and nonsense   said Alice loudly   The idea of having the
sentence first  

 Hold your tongue   said the Queen  turning purple 

 I won t   said Alice 

 Off with her head   the Queen shouted at the top of her voice  Nobody
moved 

 Who cares for you   said Alice   she had grown to her full size by this
time    You re nothing but a pack of cards  

At this the whole pack rose up into the air  and came flying down upon
her  she gave a little scream  half of fright and half of anger  and
tried to beat them off  and found herself lying on the bank  with her
head in the lap of her sister  who was gently brushing away some dead
leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face 

 Wake up  Alice dear   said her sister   Why  what a long sleep you ve
had  

 Oh  I ve had such a curious dream   said Alice  and she told her
sister  as well as she could remember them  all these strange Adventures
of hers that you have just been reading about  and when she had
finished  her sister kissed her  and said   It WAS a curious dream 
dear  certainly  but now run in to your tea  it s getting late   So
Alice got up and ran off  thinking while she ran  as well she might 
what a wonderful dream it had been 

But her sister sat still just as she left her  leaning her head on her
hand  watching the setting sun  and thinking of little Alice and all her
wonderful Adventures  till she too began dreaming after a fashion  and
this was her dream   

First  she dreamed of little Alice herself  and once again the tiny
hands were clasped upon her knee  and the bright eager eyes were looking
up into hers  she could hear the very tones of her voice  and see that
queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that
WOULD always get into her eyes  and still as she listened  or seemed to
listen  the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of
her little sister s dream 

The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by  the
frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool  she
could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends
shared their never ending meal  and the shrill voice of the Queen
ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution  once more the pig baby
was sneezing on the Duchess s knee  while plates and dishes crashed
around it  once more the shriek of the Gryphon  the squeaking of the
Lizard s slate pencil  and the choking of the suppressed guinea pigs 
filled the air  mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock
Turtle 

So she sat on  with closed eyes  and half believed herself in
Wonderland  though she knew she had but to open them again  and all
would change to dull reality  the grass would be only rustling in the
wind  and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds  the rattling
teacups would change to tinkling sheep bells  and the Queen s shrill
cries to the voice of the shepherd boy  and the sneeze of the baby  the
shriek of the Gryphon  and all the other queer noises  would change  she
knew  to the confused clamour of the busy farm yard  while the lowing
of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle s
heavy sobs 

Lastly  she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers
would  in the after time  be herself a grown woman  and how she would
keep  through all her riper years  the simple and loving heart of her
childhood  and how she would gather about her other little children  and
make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale  perhaps even
with the dream of Wonderland of long ago  and how she would feel with
all their simple sorrows  and find a pleasure in all their simple joys 
remembering her own child life  and the happy summer days 

              THE END





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